But You're A Girl
by Cruxifixus
Summary: After a year of waiting, its here! AT LAST! CHAPTER 16 IS UP! - ATTENTION! ALL PERSONNEL! Its finally here! Chapters contain some very graphic images that some readers may find upsetting. Please review & post your honest thoughts about this story.
1. New Arrivals

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter one  
  
There was a definite chill in the air that morning. Trapper never was one for early mornings but given the option of morning post-op or officer of the day duty with Frank Burns was enough to wake him from his drunken stupor.  
  
'Mac Arthur should make it illegal for the war to be this drafty; someone should sew up the hole in the war. Fill it with wounded sure, but move it to Rio!' Trapper mumbled to himself as he picked his way across the rocky compound.  
  
Being lost in a world of his own, Trapper failed to notice the jeep speeding towards him. The screech of the tires and whine of the brakes broke him from his daydream, allowing him only enough time to leap out of the way. As reality came flooding back, Trapper noticed the casualty laying in the jeep with a nurse leaning over him.  
  
'Er, little help here' asked the supposed nurse as she leapt from the vehicle.  
  
'Sure' Trapper replied coming to his senses 'This looks bad, we need to get him to pre-op now!'  
  
'Hey, what's going on?' Radar had emerged from Henry's office.  
  
'What does it look like Radar, go and wake Hawkeye, I'll need help with this one!' Trapper bellowed over his shoulder as he ran to pre-op with the injured soldier.  
  
Radar came to a skidding holt outside the swamp and yanked the door open.  
  
'Hawkeye, Hawk, wake up you gotta get up!' Radar shouted while he shook Pearce's shoulder to wake him.  
  
'Go away Radar' Hawk moaned but the corporal kept shaking him.  
  
'If you're not out of here buy the time I count to one, I'm gonna take your liver out through your nose and replace it with a pound of onions!'  
  
Still Radar persisted.  
  
'Come on Hawk, you gotta get up. Trapper needs you in the OR'  
  
Hawkeye sat up, rubbing his bleary eyes.  
  
  
  
'The x-rays show that he has a fractured pelvis' Trapper explained to the newcomer, 'some of the shrapnel has nicked the femoral artery'  
  
'Will you be doing a vein graft? Asked the 'nurse'.  
  
Trapper gave her a knowing look, his mind up to mischief.  
  
'You know an awful lot for a nurse' Trapper smiled sheepishly.  
  
Before the 'nurse' could reply, Hawkeye burst in and begun to scrub up.  
  
By the time the operation was over, the world had finally warmed up and there was an overcast yet bright sun fighting through the clouds.  
  
This newcomer intrigued Hawkeye; she had deftness and uniform precision in the OR, not to mention the fact that she resembled Aphrodite.  
  
'Hey Trap, who's that?' inquired Hawkeye as he put a hand out to stop McIntyre.  
  
'That's our new angel of mercy, she arrived on the jeep with the casualty' replied Trapper without looking up from the scrub sink.  
  
'I'd like to be her casualty' Hawkeye mumbled with a slight sigh. 'Did you catch her name?'  
  
McIntyre shook his head and Hawkeye, sensing a missed opportunity in the newcomer, ran to where the jeep had stopped.  
  
'I don't think we introduced ourselves, how rude, our manners have temporarily escaped us' Hawkeye grovelled.  
  
'Yeah, we must have left them back in the states' Trapper pitched in.  
  
'I'm Hawkeye Pearce and this is Trapper John, may will welcome you to our paradise island' Hawk announced as he gestured around the compound at the khaki tents and the officers mess.  
  
'Captain Hallwell' replied the vision of loviness.  
  
'May I show you to my tent Captain, maybe you could stay the night?' Hawkeye asked with a sly grin  
  
'Now isn't that a little forward?' asked Hallwell 'I mean, you've only just met me'  
  
'At least let us buy you a drink' chipped in Trapper.  
  
Captain looked them both up and down, then smiled and nodded.  
  
'Just one drink then' smiled Hallwell 'I like to keep good morale' and with this she pulled her duffel bag from the jeep.  
  
'Oh please, allow me' Trapper offered as he removed the bag from Hallwell's shoulder.  
  
'Thank you, Trapper was it?' asked Hallwell, her head cocked to the right, squinting to read the name on his dog tags.  
  
'That right' piped up Pearce as he lead Hallwell into the Swamp 'But you can just call him 'It' if forget his name'  
  
As Trapper set the bag down by Hawkeye's bed, Hallwell noticed Major Burns and came to a snap attention.  
  
'Sir!' Hallwell bellowed as Hawkeye and Trapper looked on confused, a salute for Frank Burns was a few and far between occurrence.  
  
Frank simply returned the salute and mooched out of the door, head held low.  
  
'Was it something I said' Hallwell asked timidly  
  
'Don't you worry about Frank' Trapper said as he placed a reassuring arm around her shoulders ' He just got up on the wrong side of the war this morning'  
  
'So Hallwell' Hawkeye asked as he handed her a martini 'do you have a first name or is it just captain to your friends?'  
  
'Its Christmas' she replied. Hawkeye looked somewhat perplexed. 'And don't make any jokes, I've heard them all'  
  
'I don't know any knock-knock jokes' Hawk smiled as Christmas sat down.  
  
'So what brings you to the 4077th Christmas' asked Trapper with a slight smile.  
  
'This slight squabble between a couple of countries, its know as the WAR' she over accentuated this word to make her point.  
  
'Of course, I was almost forgetting' Trapper joked. 'New nurses are always coming and going in this place, mostly going'  
  
'That's the price of war' Hallwell replied.  
  
'That's very GI' Hawkeye observed. 'You must be part of this mans army'  
  
'Correct, my father is a one star general and my mother was a major; she was head of nursing staff at Forte Terrence' Christmas offered.  
  
'Fort Terrence? That's in Maine' Hawkeye quipped 'I should know, I was born there'  
  
'So was I' replied Hallwell, she was getting to become over excited. 'At the Foreman Street Hospital'  
  
'You said your mother was a major what is she doing now?' Trapper enquired  
  
'She's doing time six feet under, it was a fluke accident at the hospital' Christmas sighed as she drained her glass.  
  
'I must say, this is a very good martini'  
  
'Well this morning was very good year' joked Trapper.  
  
'So you decided to become a nurse because of your mother' asked Hawkeye.  
  
Christmas looked up from her glass 'Oh I'm not a nurse, I'm a surgeon' and she dropped the olive into her empty glass.  
  
It was all Trapper and Hawkeye could do was to stare in disbelief.  
  
'A surgeon, but, but..' Hawkeye stammered 'You're a gir-'  
  
'Don't say it' Hallwell interrupted. 'It's nice of you to notice that I'm a girl but I am still a qualified surgeon'.  
  
'You didn't think that I was going to become an angel of mercy if I had the opportunity to become one of the first female surgeon's in Korea did you?'  
  
'Another drink Dr. Hallwell?' Trapper offered the captain another drink as the conversation moved to lighter topics... 


	2. Smiles and Tears

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter two  
  
'Well you just tell him to stop hitting you honey, hello? hello?' Henry was on the phone to his kids  
  
'RADAR! The line just died'  
  
'I'm sorry sir, the call maxed out; you only get two minutes in the system' Radar mumbled as he presented the commanding officer with more forms to sign.  
  
'Hold on one second there, what am I signing?' enquired Henry  
  
'Oh, these are the forms you need to sign in order to get the forms that enable us to order more forms sir' Radar replied.  
  
Henry looked somewhat perplexed and all together confused.  
  
'You don't understand all of this do you Radar?  
  
'It helps not to sir, it slows up the work'  
  
Apart from Hallwell's emergency pelvis case, things had gone very slowly that week, only four hours work for each surgeon. With all the bother of that mornings rush, Christmas had not reported to the CO's office. She could still be found at the swamp in the company of Pearce and McIntyre. As the morning was slow Hawkeye decided some fun and games were in order.  
  
'No, you gotta hold it tighter, that's it now bite down, go on harder' Hawkeye shouted commands as Christmas leant over Trapper.  
  
'I can't do it any harder' She giggled as she tried to transfer the olive that she had been biting into Trapper's mouth.  
  
'This is a strange game Hawk, are you sure you have played this before?' Christmas enquired.  
  
'Of course, we play this game all the time don't we Trap' Hawk grinned  
  
'Oh yeah of course, but not normally with each other'  
  
'Not interrupting anything am I boys' Henry had walked in on the fun and games. 'I'm waiting for the new surgeon to arrive, a Captain Hallwell'  
  
'Erm, Henry..' Hawkeye started but he was interrupted.  
  
'Yeah, this Hallwell fellow is meant to be the hottest thing to hit this camp since the new hot water boiler last winter' Henry went on. 'He must be a swell guy, really great with the gals'  
  
'When did you say this Hallwell was meant to be here Henry' Trapper asked but the CO wasn't listening.  
  
'Hope he plays golf, you know he pulled off an open-heart surgery in less then four hours Pearce, you to could be great working together' Henry jabbered.  
  
'Funny you say that Henry' Hawkeye stood up and presented the captain. 'Henry, this is your new surgeon, Captain Hallwell, Captain Christmas Hallwell'  
  
Henry's gaze span around until he meet the shinning eyes of Hallwell.  
  
'But you're a gal' Henry stammered  
  
'What did I tell you about Henry Christmas, on the ball as always' Hawkeye grinned.  
  
'Christmas arrived with a casualty early this morning Henry' Trapper explained 'We've just been helping her settle in'  
  
'Well then, RAA.' Henry started  
  
'Yes Sir, I'll show Captain Hallwell to her tent' Radar cut in. 'would you like to follow me ma'am?'  
  
'Why thank-you Corporal, I'm sorry, I don't know your name' Hallwell smiled.  
  
'Corporal O' Riley ma'am, but everyone always calls me Radar' he mumbled. 'You'll be bunking with Major Houlihan, she's head of the nursing staff' he carried on explaining as he walked from the swamp with Hallwell.  
  
'You seem to work very closely with Colonel Blake Corporal, do you enjoy what you do here?' enquired Christmas  
  
'Very much so ma'am, only just last week, I got an award for best administrative clerk' Radar chimed. 'I am the only one but it was real nice all the same'  
  
They continued across the compound until they reached the afore mentioned quarters. It was slightly dark inside, the thick walls of canvas allowed little light to penetrate them. The only light that was allowed to enter was from the messing and from the door panel. The air smelt a little musty from the sun drying the canvas of the rain the camp had received during the night. Radar weaved his way around the collection of chairs and placed the Captains duffel bag onto the spare cot.  
  
'I hope you settle in nicely ma'am' Radar smiled.  
  
'Thank you Radar, when will I meet Major Houlihan?' asked Christmas.  
  
'Well, ah, it's the majors morning off so probably this afternoon' answered Radar as he checked his clipboard. 'She normally has Pre-op duty and she will be around in surgery'  
  
Radar turned to leave but he stopped himself. 'Ma'am, may I just say how neat its going to be having a female surgeon around the place'  
  
'Why thank-you Radar' smiled Hallwell.  
  
Radar returned the smile and strolled from the tent back to his desk outside Henry's office.  
  
This was it; Christmas still could not quite believe it. Her first real posting in Korea. She could not understand why she was nervous about having soldiers lives in her hands as she had done before a thousand times or more.  
  
Christmas sat down on her cot and put her duffel bag next to her. As she looked around the tent, she noticed that she had an empty wardrobe and a bedside cabinet. Not exactly luxury but it was better then a kick in the teeth.  
  
The first thing she took from her bag was a sliver-plate photo frame. Contained within it was a picture of her mother and father that had been taken on her fifth birthday. It was something about that picture that always brought a lump to her throat. Christmas took a deep breath and swallowed back a torrent of tears. She walked over to the best-side table and placed the photo frame lovingly upon it. Her gaze wondered back to her duffel bag and she forced herself to continue unpacking.  
  
As she placed her arm into the canvas bag, her fingers hit upon a smooth satin. As she removed the item she smiled sadly to herself. They were the pair of pointe shoes that her mother had given her for her birthday. She cradled the ballet shoes in her hands and ran her finger up the rough grosgrain on the underside of the ribbon. Feeling that the memories that accompanied those shoes would defiantly make her cry, she wrapped them once more in the tissue paper they had fallen out of in her bag and placed them to one side.  
  
As she rubbed her eye to remove a tear, there was a knock at the door.  
  
'Come in' Christmas shouted as she swallowed another deep sigh.  
  
It was Trapper, he entered the tent with a smile but when he caught sight of the captain's emotion, his expression changed to one of concern.  
  
'Hey Christmas, you alright?' He asked sympathetically as he placed a hand on her shoulder.  
  
'Oh, I'm fine' said Hallwell wiping her right eye again.  
  
'It's just that picture' she said nodding to her bedside table 'It always gets me going, god it makes me feel stupid'  
  
'Hey don't worry about it, being away from your family can be absolute murder on your heart' Trapper sympathized.  
  
'Thanks Trap'  
  
'Listen, its chow-time and I came over to ask if wanted to go eat' Trapper said brightly  
  
'Sure, a little unpacking will just have to wait till later'  
  
Christmas felt brighter now, she could see herself getting on well with Trapper and Pearce. She liked Radar and Henry Blake, she could have had an absolutely awful CO but the luck of the draw had defiantly been in her favour this time. The only bad feeling that she was left with was the one she had received from Frank Burns. He had been so cold with her, even though she had been completely GI with him; she could have just stepped out of the officer's manual.  
  
As the two figures wondered towards the officer's mess, Hawkeye emerged from the swamp.  
  
'Hey guys, wait for me' Hawk shouted 'Ah, I see our friendly neighbourhood watch man has cornered you Christmas, he'll be after Easter next!'  
  
On hearing this Christmas turned to Hawkeye and administered a well-aimed slap on the back.  
  
'Oww' Hawk complained. 'Trapper she hit me'  
  
Trapper looked impressed. 'Where did a girl like you learn to hit like that?'  
  
'At Med school, I used to box for St Georges. I was Home Counties champion at one point. That was before I moved to the States'  
  
It was times like that when her English accent really did her justice.  
  
'Now, I don't want you thinking that all English girls are violent now' Christmas quipped.  
  
'Not if you're going to hit me again I wont' Hawkeye assured her as they joined the queue for the inexcusable substance that had seemed to replace really food.  
  
They all picked up a tray each and continued along the line to see what delicacies were in store for them today.  
  
'What have you got for us today Benny' Hawkeye asked the Cook  
  
'Well, you have the choice between fish and potato, liver and potato, potato, or diderly squat' the cook replied.  
  
'They are all so nice around here' Hawk added with a sarcastic tone to his voice.  
  
The tables were pretty empty; many of the men were playing football in the compound.  
  
'Hi Frank' Trapper trilled 'You were very rude to Captain Hallwell earlier'  
  
'I have been waiting for the new surgeon to arrive all, he should be here by now' Frank moaned. 'I do have other things to be getting on with.  
  
'Like playing a little doctor and nurse with Hotlips?' Hawkeye grinned.  
  
'I hope you are going to be polite to Captain Hallwell when he gets here, you know he completed open heart surgery in under four hours?' Frank insisted.  
  
'Yeah, so I've heard' Hawkeye replied. 'She may just put you to shame Frank'  
  
'What do you mean She?' Frank was confused.  
  
'Frank' Trapper started, 'May I have the pleasure of introducing Captain Hallwell, Captain Christmas Hallwell' as he indicted at Christmas with his left hand.  
  
Frank was suddenly lost for words; he made an incomprehensible noise in his throat that sounded like a mouse being trodden on.  
  
'It's a pleasure to meet you Major Burns' Christmas offered him her hand; Frank simply stared at it like it was the most repulsive he had ever witnessed.  
  
'This is commonly known as a hand-shake Frank, it's a sign of friendship and warmth' Hawkeye explained to the empty air. 'Don't worry about Frank, he'll breathe in a minute'.  
  
'Will you excuse me please' Frank mumbled as he hurried from the table. Christmas looked confused and a little reduced. She picked her fork but didn't start eating. Trapper could feel that this encounter had left her feeling deflated. Hawkeye placed his right arm around her shoulders as Christmas sighed deeply.  
  
'Don't worry about Frank' Hawkeye said softly.  
  
'Yeah, he's never happy; he's the camps anti-morale officer' Trapper chipped in.  
  
'The only reason that he was drafted was to use to prop doors open' joked Hawk but he failed to make Christmas smile.  
  
'Sorry guys, I'm just not hungry anymore' Christmas mumbled as she left the table and started across the compound.  
  
Trapper started to go after her but he felt Hawk's hand on his shoulder forcing him back down.  
  
'Leave her Trap' Hawkeye mumbled  
  
'Leave her, are you crazy? She has faced more prejudice in this camp in six hours then anyone can stand in a life time' Trapper argued as he pushed his tray away from him and ran from the table to catch the figure of Captain Christmas Hallwell. 


	3. Dedicated Followers

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter three Dedicated followers  
  
The compound was quiet now, practically deserted. Christmas absent mindedly kicked a pebble across the rocky ground as she thought about how Major Burns had made her feel. She had faced hard times before this but never the feeling that her existence as a respectable human being had been questioned. She kicked another pebble, much harder this time, still not looking where it was heading.  
  
'Oww' a voice expressing pain roused her from the dream world she had escaped to.  
  
Christmas looked up to see a female figure clasping her shin. As she started towards the figure to offer help, Christmas noticed the figure wore a gold oak leaf on her right lapel.  
  
'I'm so sorry major, I wasn't looking where I was going, and I kicked one of the rocks, I didn't mean for it to hit anyone..' Christmas was stammering her apologies but the major interrupted her.  
  
'Quiet yourself girl' the major ordered.  
  
Christmas obeyed instantly, she didn't want to make her situation any worse for herself. To make up for her mistake, she apologised again and gave a crisp salute.  
  
'I don't believe we have met captain' said the major offering her hand to Christmas 'I am Major Margaret Houlihan, I am chief of the nursing staff on this bass'  
  
'Captain Christmas Hallwell, Ma'am'  
  
'Ah Hallwell, I understand that you will be sharing my quarters' Houlihan went on 'Are those your fatigues inside?'  
  
'Yes they are ma'am, I'm the new surgeon here' Christmas continued but she stopped at the look on the majors face.  
  
'YOU are the new surgeon??' Houlihan's voice trembled slightly.  
  
Christmas felt again the ice fall into her stomach as she had with Frank Burns. Major Houlihan continued to stare but eventually correcting herself and changing tack.  
  
'Welcome to the 4077th Captain' Margaret announced, offering her hand.  
  
'Thank you Major, This unit has a very impressive record, I hope I can help to maintain it. Trapper was annoyed with himself, he couldn't find Christmas. He was also extremely angry with Frank. Trapper stormed into the swamp and banged the door on its hinges.  
  
'Can you believe what that weasel did to Christmas' Trapper shouted angrily at Hawk.  
  
'I know, its like he removed his own nervous system' Hawk moaned 'It saved us having to do it for him'.  
  
'If I could do to him what he just did to her' Trapper was almost shaking with rage. 'She's only just arrived, she doesn't need that kind of abuse from anyone; nobody does'.  
  
'Trapp' said Hawkeye; elongating the p for effect 'You have really taken a shine to Christmas Hallwell haven't you?' He still had a twinkle in his eye.  
  
'It just makes me sick that Frank thinks he can go around doing that kinda thing' Trapper continued, still livid over Major Burn's behaviour; he could not be calmed.  
  
'It just makes me sick Hawk, real SICK' and with this, Trapper proceeded to punch the doorframe causing the door to swing open.  
  
Once the door had closed, a very scared looking Radar emerged slowly through the door. He had obviously been on his way in when Trapper had punched it.  
  
'Ah, is it alright if I come in' Radar whispered timidly.  
  
'Come on in Radar, you can help me with a rumour that I've heard' Hawkeye gestured the clerk inside.  
  
'If its about that hole in the nurses shower, I am gonna fix it; its just taking a little longer then expected' Radar stammered.  
  
'How much longer' Hawk smiled  
  
'Ah about a week, I seem to get distracted every time I try to do it'  
  
'Oh Radar, haven't your Uncle Trapper and I brought you up to be better then that'  
  
'Ah well, anyway, I just came by to bring you your mail Hawk' as Radar handed Pearce a thick white envelope addressed in his fathers copperplate handwriting.  
  
'Just forget out the weasel Trap' Hawkeye tried to console Trapper as he opened his letter but to no avail, he wasn't listening.  
  
'I just wish I could teach him a lesson' Trapper went 'God I'd love to see his face'. 'Maybe I could rearrange his cot outside the latrine' he spat.  
  
'What do you think Hawk' Trap asked but Hawkeye didn't answer 'Hawk?'  
  
Trapper twisted around on his bunk to look at Hawkeye. He was sitting perfectly still staring at the letter he had just received. His hands were shaking; the sheets of paper were quivering; mimicking his emotion.  
  
'Hawk, you Ok?' Trapper asked again but still no answer from his best friend.  
  
Pearce continued to stare at his letter and his breathing became more erratic. This was very odd behaviour for him, normally he was a solid example of what humour could achieve.  
  
'Hawk?' Trapper got up and crossed the tent to sit on his best friends bunk. He placed a hand onto Hawkeye's right shoulder but it was shrugged away as he stood and crossed to the still, which was bubbling in the corner. Once Hawkeye had poured himself a large gin and swallowed it down in one, his knees seem to disappear from under him. The glass in his hand fell to the floor and smashed.  
  
'Hawk, geez, Radar, go get Henry NOW RUN' Trapper shouted as he tried to stop his friend from hitting his head on the wooden table.  
  
'Hawk, Hawk are you Ok'? Trapper tried to speak softly into his ear, the way he calmed his daughters when all they wanted to do was cry.  
  
Hawkeye's breathing continued to become more erratic as Trapper tried to hold him as still as he could. He took great gasps of air to stop him from passing out.  
  
He didn't feel like he had any control over himself, he couldn't stand or speak. He couldn't even breathe properly; it caught in his chest and twisted into a mass in his lungs. Hawk felt as if the broken pieces of the martini glass were catching in his throat.  
  
Radar had run skidding across the compound, avoiding a jeep and several enlisted men playing football. He narrowly dodged a washing line and almost tripped over the kerbstones of the flag circle. As he approached the CO's office he pulled the external door open and crashed through the divide between Henry's office from Radar's desk. He came to an almighty holt by putting his arms out to stop himself hitting the desk.  
  
'Radar, what in the world..' Henry began but the clerk cut him short.  
  
'Sir, you must come, its Captain Pearce, he collapsed in the swamp' Radar stammered.  
  
'Hells Bells Radar! Is anyone with him?' Henry announced with a wide-eyed expression.  
  
'Trapper is, Sir he just fell, he was reading his mail and he just fell'  
  
Together they raced towards the Swamp. The anxiety was building up in Henry's chest; he had no idea what he would find. He didn't even think that he might lose his best surgeon.  
  
Meanwhile, Trapper had managed to calm his best friend although his breathing was still erratic. Trap had noticed that there were tears on Hawkeye's face; they were silent tears that Trapper hadn't heard.  
  
'Come on buddy, it's Ok, we're going to get you some help' Trapper reassured the figure of his best friend lying in his arms. Hawkeye tried to speak but his guardian silenced him.  
  
'Try not to talk, save your breath' Trap reassured him as the figures of Henry Blake and Radar dashing across the compound.  
  
Henry didn't know what to do; the figure of one of his best doctors lying on the floor was a shock to say the least. He rushed to Trappers side, unconsciously knocking over a chair in the process.  
  
'Pearce, Pearce can you hear me' Henry spoke in a worried tone to the figure lying in Trappers arms.  
  
'Lets get him over to post-op McIntyre, he made to be sedated' Henry felt he had little to no control over the situation but he could be one thing and that was to treat Hawkeye with medical precision.  
  
It was a struggle for Trapper to hold Pearce; he was not heavy but the awkward position he held his buddy in made it difficult to balance. Trapper tried to talk to Hawk but the extra strain he had taken made it difficult.  
  
'Come on buddy, we're getting you help' Trapper repeated softly, trying reassure his best friend in Korea.  
  
Hawkeye tried to open his eyes but the sunlight was painful to register. It was all he could was to lay still and be carried to whereever he was going. Hawkeye could feel his head lolling as Trapper half ran, half stumbled through the football game in the compound. Almost all the players stopped to see what all the fuss was about because they hadn't heard any choppers. Gasps of shock could be heard around the compound as people realised that Trapper was in fact carrying Dr. Pearce.  
  
'Get out he way' Trapper shouted to clear his path of patients and nurses.  
  
Trapper placed his buddy on a secluded bed off the post-op ward. Hawkeye really did look ill now; his hands were still cold and shaking. His skin was pale and damp from a cold sweat and his eyes seemed to be glazed over.  
  
'He has a fever Henry' Trapper had placed his hand on Hawkeye's forehead and almost recoiled it in shock. He had been fine five minutes ago.  
  
'How much has he had to drink McIntyre' Henry asked trying to remain calm.  
  
'He had one, one drink' Trapper tried to explain. 'He looked upset about something but wouldn't tell me what it was, he just up, had one drink and collapsed to the floor. That's when I sent Radar to get you.'  
  
Hawkeye hardly moved, he couldn't move. The bright sunlight that shone though the windows burnt his eyes. He felt as if he would vomit and he could feel the room spinning around him. 


	4. Memories and Nightmares

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter four Memories and Nightmares  
  
It wasn't long before word had gotten round the camp of Hawkeye's illness. It had been established that Pearce was most likely suffering from a form of blood poisoning.  
  
'Septicaemia?' Trapper roared. He found it hard to believe that his best friend could become so ill in such a short space of time.  
  
Trapper found himself in a state of denial. It had been several weeks since Hawkeye had been taken ill but he had made little to no change; he was even falling back in some ways. All he seemed to do was work; many noted the decrease in nurses he dated. When Trap was on post-op duty, he tried to spend time with his unconscious friend. He could often be found simply sitting on the end of Hawkeye's bed or asleep in a chair by his side. As Hawkeye was considered to be infectious and too ill to travel, the whole camp where ordered to wear surgical masks around the wards to avoid the risk of infection.  
  
Trapper wanted nothing more than for Hawk to get better, maybe it came in second to seeing his wife and kids but it was a tough fight for the top spot. All personnel were examined for signs of infections and were given strict instructions not to enter the wards unless absolutely necessary. Trap had nothing else to do as he has been physically removed from Hawkeye's side. The Swamp was defiantly a lonelier place without him. A saying that his wife used to use when they first met suddenly sprung to mind and it now felt quite fitting 'Its so much more friendly with two'.  
  
Trapper sat on his cot, staring at the floor, his fingers interlocked around the back of his neck. He thought he heard a door open and he looked up to see the figure of Christmas Hallwell standing in the doorway.  
  
'Thought you could use some company' she smiled as Trapper stood up. He crossed the room to the still and poured two martinis.  
  
'A drink Captain?' Trap asked  
  
'Why not, it's been a while since we did this' Christmas smiled again with a hit sarcasm to her voice.  
  
They both sat down on a cot but struggled to find a happy topic of conversation. Trapper was still pre-occupied with Hawk.  
  
'Is Hawkeye any better?' asked Christmas, it was as if she had read his mind.  
  
'No change, he's still very sick and we can't seem to make contact with his father'.  
  
Christmas could see that this topic was paining Trapper greatly so she quickly cast around for something else to say.  
  
'Do you have any family Trap, someone at home waiting for you' Christmas enquired.  
  
'Yeah I do' Trapper said with a smile 'five year old twin girls, Kathy and Becky'  
  
'Do you have any pictures of them Trap' she asked trying to make him think of something else.  
  
'Of course' he reached up to the cabinet over his bed and brought down a photograph of two small girls. 'That picture was taken a few day before I was drafted' he sighs heavily at his memory 'ahh, happy days'  
  
Christmas enjoyed looking at photos; it gave a brief moment when all that mattered was the subject of the picture.  
  
'Cheeky smiles' Christmas observed. 'They must have gotten that from their father' Trapper half smiled to himself, the pain of missing his two little girls was obviously bad. 'Do you have any other photos' she asked as she handed the picture back.  
  
'Yeah, I should have somewhere' Trapper got up from his cot and began to rummage in his footlocker. He found a small patterned box, which he brought out and carried back over to sit beside Christmas.  
  
'I'd forgotten I had these' as he produced a pile of family photo's. 'This is my wife Louise, god I miss her' a silence fell over him as he handed the photo to Christmas.  
  
'We married soon after I finished med school, I suppose we just knew we were right for each other'  
  
When she looked at Trapper again, he has stopped leafing though the photos, he was staring at a picture and smiling deeply to himself.  
  
'What?' she asked in an inquisitive tone.  
  
'Oh nothing, I just haven't seen this one for a while' as Trapper lovingly hands her the photograph.  
  
'That's from when Louise was pregnant with the girls, it must have been the hottest day of the year when that was taken'. The picture showed a youthful smiling woman who was being embraced by an even happier looking Trapper.  
  
'She's beautiful Trapper, you did well there' Christmas sighed 'You're a very lucky man'  
  
'Yeah, I am aren't I' he smiled as he took back the photos and this time put them all into the cabinet above his bed and not into his footlocker.  
  
'You really miss your kids don't you' Christmas asked 'I know I would'. Christmas had more in common with Hawkeye on that front, no siblings, no mother and no children. It was just Christmas and her father against the world.  
  
'What about you Christmas, you have anybody waiting for you? Trapper had woken her out of her chain of thoughts.  
  
'Hmm, oh, no; nobody special'  
  
'What?' Trapper sounded surprised 'a pretty girl like you with no sweetheart'. This did make Christmas smile.  
  
'I'm never in one place long enough for anything serious' she explained. 'I know my father would want me to find someone, as long as he was GI'.  
  
They continued to talk for what seemed like hours, about everything and nothing. They covered every topic from the newest surgical techniques to what the schools where like in their local areas back home. Christmas looked at her watch and realised the time, she had promised Major Houlihan that's he would take a shift from a nurse and acquaint her self with the post-op ward.  
  
'What time does your shift start' Trapper questioned 'cos I've gotta go'  
  
'Erm, now, I promised Major Houlihan I would cover a shift' Christmas answered.  
  
The post-op ward was pretty quiet due the uncharacteristic lack of casualties. Trapper and Christmas did the rounds together so he could show her the ropes and they ran the place.  
  
'Its not uncommon for a patient to develop a brief post-op infection' Trapper explained 'the symptoms can include.'  
  
'Elevated temperature and white count, fever, pain around the affected area and in extreme cases vomiting and unconsciousness' Christmas interrupted.  
  
Trapper smiled, she was absolutely right.  
  
'Very good, you know your stuff alright Hallwell'  
  
'Why thank-you McIntyre' replied Christmas.  
  
'Doctor' a nurse had approached Trapper 'could you come and have a look at bed nine, the patient is complaining of pain'  
  
Trapper went with the nurse to the afore mentioned patient and left Christmas to herself. She realised that they had not checked on Hawkeye so she tied a surgical mask around her mouth and nose as she pushed the door open. Hawkeye was half asleep when he felt someone sit at the end of his bed. He forced himself to open his eyes enough to see who his visitor was. It wasn't Trapper but he couldn't work out who it was, his brain was full of delirious fever. He felt a cold compress touch his burning skin, which helped to clear his vision. And there they were, the beautiful shining green eyes of Christmas Hallwell.  
  
'What a delightful angel of mercy you are' Hawkeye stammered in a weak rasping voice.  
  
'Shh' Christmas tried to silence him. 'How are you feeling Hawk'?  
  
'I've felt better' he only had the energy to speak in a mumbled whisper. 'I feel like I have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana field'.  
  
This made Christmas smile. She enjoyed Hawk's company even when he was so ill he could hardly speak.  
  
'Christmas' Hawk started but cut himself off. It took a while for him to build up the strength to speak again. 'When I'm better, you and me, we're gonna go dancing'  
  
'Of course we will' whispered Christmas 'of course we will'  
  
Christmas would have liked to have spoken to Hawk more but he had drifted back off to sleep. She felt that Hawk looked like a child, slightly curled up with a sleepy expression. She ran the back of her hand along his left cheek and removed the cold compress from his forehead that was now warm to the touch. She sat there for a while just watching him sleep, she was oblivious to Trapper standing behind her.  
  
'How is he'? Trapper asked her in a muted tone as not to wake the patient.  
  
'In a word, delirious' Christmas announced 'but he is becoming more coherent, he told me that we were going to go dancing'  
  
Trapper laughed 'Sounds like the old Hawk all right. We should go, were not supposed to spend to much time in here'  
  
The rest of the shift was relatively slow, a few casualties with what were considered to be 'minor injuries'. It was then that the PA system crackled into life.  
  
'ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ALL PERSONNEL, due to circumstances beyond our control, lunch is now being served.  
  
'Well' Trapper started 'in this place you can be sure if the work doesn't kill, the food will'  
  
The lunch was entitled 'army surprise' but it wasn't a surprise as to what was in it, yesterday's dinner and tomorrow's breakfast. 'I've been here for three weeks and I'm still not used to this food' Christmas explained as she used her folk to see exactly what she was eating.  
  
'You will get used to it' Trapper promised 'just give it another year and we'll see if you have adjusted'.  
  
'Mind if I join you Sirs' it was Klinger.  
  
'Sure lady sit yourself down' Trapper joked.  
  
Klinger was going to any lengths to get out of the army, but bucking for a section eight was his speciality. Today he was dressed in a nurse's uniform complete with high-heels and mascara.  
  
'Looking stunning today Klinger' Christmas observed 'You even got your seams straight'  
  
'Thanks ma'am, it took me an hour to get dressed but I feel that it's the small things that make all the difference'.  
  
'I should get back Trapper, I have my own shift to work' Christmas sighed as she forced herself up from the table.  
  
'They're going to run you into the ground you know' Trapper said to her retreating back.  
  
'Don't I know it' Christmas replied.  
  
It was quiet in post-op; the patients were either asleep or talking to each other. After checking the running list of the day she went to check on Hawkeye. He was restless, thrashing about in his bed. Once again she wore a surgical mask as she entered the room. Christmas knew that if you woke someone when they were delirious, it could prove an enormous shock to their system. She placed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature; he still had a raging fever.  
  
'Is that you mom?' Hawkeye mumbled; his voice broken and quivering.  
  
'Its Christmas Hawkeye' she tried to calm him but he went on.  
  
'Huh?' he seemed to be having trouble understanding the voice that spoke to him.  
  
Christmas managed to sit Hawk up enough to check his IV in his arm. It had been pulled out during Hawkeye's thrashing nightmare, causing blood to soak through his bed sheets. Christmas cleaned the wound and re-inserted the IV. Hawk had managed to open his eyes enough to recognise the shape leaning over him.  
  
'Christmas' Hawk stammered  
  
She turned around to see Hawkeye in extreme discomfort, clutching at his stomach.  
  
'Do feel like your going to be sick' Christmas spoke softly to him and he nodded in a half-hearted manner as his breathing speed up.  
  
Hawkeye did vomit, as there was nothing in his stomach; only bile filled his mouth and flowed into the dish Christmas had placed in front of him. This act seemed to drain him of all available energy and he fell back into unconsciousness. 


	5. Happy Times from Home

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter five  
  
'Hey Sparky, yeah this is Radar over at the 4077th, ah, I was wondering if you heard anything from the 103rd EVAC about getting a replacement surgeon?'  
  
Radar was on the phone to the 8063rd tying to find a replacement surgeon for Hawkeye. So far he had struck out, he had called Seoul, Okinawa and Tokyo.  
  
'Nothing' Radar seemed downcast at this 'Ok, thanks anyway Sparky'  
  
Radar put the receiver down and crossed the last name off his list off possible surgeons; they were really stuck now. There wasn't one American unit in the whole of Korea that could spare or lend them a surgeon. The only thing he could do was to get onto the supply department in Washington. As he dialled, he realised that the Washington base never sent temporary surgeons to Korea; everyone who was eligible was already being used. Radar leant back in his chair not knowing what to do. He noticed that he still had pass out the mail call so he heaved himself from his chair and picked up the bundle of letters and packages.  
  
A strong November wind was blowing autumnal leaves around the compound and Radar had to try his hardest to stay up right. He battled to hold some doors open as he handed mail to its respective recipient. Some of the parcels were too heavy to carry altogether so he left them outside tents.  
  
He reached the Swamp and looked down at the last remaining letter in his hand. It was addressed to John FX McIntyre. Radar hadn't spoken to Trapper much recently; Hawkeye being ill had really affected him. He noticed the shape of Trapper sitting on his cot inside so Radar took a deep breath and pushed the door open.  
  
Trapper sat on his cot with his head in his hands and didn't even notice Radar enter.  
  
'Hey Trapper, mail for you' the corporeal mentioned as he held out the envelope.  
  
Trap looked up, his eyes were red rimmed from a lack of sleep and his tone of voice was broken.  
  
'Thanks Radar' he mumbled in a half-hearted manner as he tried to recognise the handwriting, 'from my wife'.  
  
'I thought it might be important, you know, something from home' Radar added but he didn't have Trapper's full attention.  
  
'Thanks Radar' Trapper repeated. He didn't hear Radar leave; his words were rushing around his brain 'something important from home'.  
  
Trapper looked over to Hawk's cot, it hadn't been slept in for weeks. His gaze flicked to a piece of crème writing paper that was protruding from underneath. Something important from home? The words suddenly melded together in his brain and the mist of thoughts lifted. Hawkeye had received a letter from home directly before he was taken ill and it had made him act in an overly erratic way.  
  
He jumped suddenly from his cot and gathered up the sheets of paper that had once been Hawkeye's letter. Trapper blew the layer of dust that had gathered on the pages away and sat on his bunkies cot to read. At first he though this an intrusion of his best friends privacy but as he read on, he understood just why they had not been able to make contact with his father.  
  
'Henry, you're not listening to me' Trapper shouted as he banged Hawkeye's letter onto the CO's desk.  
  
'I think I know why we cant get in touch with Hawkeye's father' Trapper was trying to keep his composure but it was beginning to falter.  
  
'McIntyre, I'm trying to re-thread this fly cant you see that' Henry mumbled as he dropped his needle.  
  
'We have never been able to get hold of him because he is in Korea, he's meant to be giving a series of lectures on elective surgery.' Trapper balled at Henry, he was determined to get his whole attention.  
  
Henry looked up from his fishing reel and stared into Trapper's eyes.  
  
'If you are joking about this McIntyre' Henry started.  
  
'Would I joke about this Henry, I'm serious' Trapper exclaimed, gesturing at the letter. 'He says that he was going to be in Korea from the 10th September until the 14th November, Henry, it's the 13th we can still catch him'.  
  
The look in Henry's eyes suddenly turned from annoyance to realisation.  
  
'Does it say where he will be staying' Henry started as he ran out to Radar's desk.  
  
'Ah yeah, at the Shang - La Plaza in Tokyo' Trapper read, his eyes desperately scanning the page for the required information.  
  
  
  
Henry did his best to hook up the switchboard and pulled out the folder containing the dialling codes for the whole Korean theatre.  
  
'God dang' Henry shouted 'how Radar understands this is beyond me'  
  
'You need something Sir' Radar trilled as he walked though the door.  
  
'Radar, can you get Tokyo on this thing' Trapper asked as he pointed to the radio.  
  
'Ah sure, where do you wanna talk to?' he replied as he sat at the desk and plugged in the relevant cables.  
  
'We need to get through to the Shang-La Plaza, Hawk's dad is supposed be staying there' Trapper was leaning over the corporal, showing him the letter.  
  
'Hang on Sir' Radar charged the system and waited for a reply.  
  
There was a tense silence hanging in the air while Radar established contact with Tokyo. Trapper didn't realise but he was shaking, he may be able to get Hawk's dad to him after all. After a few tense minutes, they both heard Radar's voice.  
  
'Ah, is that the Shang-La Plaza, Tokyo?' he questioned the receptionist. 'I have Colonial Henry Blake on the line and he wishes to speak to Dr. D Pearce'  
  
Another silence.  
  
'Their putting us through sir' Radar exclaimed.  
  
The light in the room seemed to dazzle his eyes but Hawk managed to keep them open. His head felt full of hazy fever, however much he shook his head; his thoughts did not clear. He could breathe easier; this was something that had proved quite a task over the past few weeks. It was almost as if this had been the first time he had used his eyes. He squinted around the room to find a figure he recognised; there was no one there. The room suddenly became lighter and he realised that a door had been opened. He peered up and saw Trapper gliding towards him.  
  
'How you feeling buddy?' Trapper smiled as he sat done next to Hawkeye.  
  
'The country has stopped spinning at last' Hawk joked and let out a small laugh that changed into a huge coughing fit.  
  
'Hey don't get too over excited' Trapper exclaimed while he tried to sit his best friend up and tap his back to stop the coughing.  
  
'You alright?' Trapper asked as his best friend nodded his reply. 'Cos we found someone that you might like to see'  
  
Hawkeye felt confused and dazed but himself to continue looking at Trapper who was now walking towards the door and pulling it open. What happened next made Hawkeye almost fall out of bed. Another figure was approaching his bed.  
  
'Dad?' Hawkeye mumbled 'Dad is that you?' the lump in his throat quivering his voice.  
  
'Yes son' said a voice that he would recognise anywhere and Hawkeye felt a hand on his shoulder forcing him to lay back down again.  
  
'Dad' Hawkeye's voice quivering more and he now had tears on his face. 'I thought you would never come'  
  
'Well I couldn't come 12,00 miles and see my own son'.  
  
Dr. Pearce's visit seemed to speed up Hawkeye's recovery. The time that he spent in the camp came to an end and Hawk managed to bid a final goodbye to his father. Supported by Trapper, Hawk managed to hobble out to the jeep where his father was waiting for him.  
  
'So' Hawkeye mumbled.  
  
'So' his father repeated. 'Goodbye son' as he climbed into the jeep.  
  
'Dad' Hawkeye started but stopped himself. His father stopped to look at Hawkeye, and gave him an encouraging smile.  
  
'I know son, I know' Hawkeye's father put a hand on his sons shoulder.  
  
Hawkeye put up his arms around his father and buried his face in the material of his coat. He had not felt emotion this strong since his father had said goodbye at San Francisco airport. Hawk pulled away to reveal glassy eyes and a pained expression.  
  
'You be careful dad, I'll be home before you know it' Hawkeye stammered.  
  
'I will, at least I know that it'll take more then this war to kill you now' his father joked.  
  
As the jeep speeded off towards Seoul, Hawk just watched until the jeep and its passenger could no longer been seen. Trapper looked to his friend and decided to give him a change of scenery.  
  
'Come on buddy' Trapper broke Hawkeye's silent thought.  
  
Trap led him back to the Swamp, Hawkeye's home from home.  
  
'Hey' Hawk muttered as he walked in 'Someone has sneaked in her and committed a neatness'.  
  
Trapper laughed at this as he eased his buddy down onto his cot.  
  
'Its good to have you back Hawk' Trap announced.  
  
'Its good to be back Trap, am I still going to get hot and cold running nurses' Hawk joked.  
  
'I've told them to take it easy with you until you get back on your feet' the mischief was once again dancing behind McIntyre's eyes. It had been missing for a long time. 


	6. Torment and Degradation

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter six Torment and Degradation  
  
'Sponge' Christmas asked the nurse as she held out her right hand.  
  
'It had been a long shift' she thought to herself as the last of the shrapnel was removed from the patient's gut.  
  
'Suture silk' Christmas mumbled as she creaked her neck from side to side to free the tension that had built up inside her shoulders and back.  
  
The constant shelling the camp had received was not making her or anybody else's job any easier. To make matters worse, she had been assisting Major Burns the previous day in surgery when he had placed her on report for giving him the instrument he had asked for. As a result of the report, he had revoked her privileges as an officer and placed her on guard duty. Thirteen hours in surgery, eight hours of guard duty and ten minutes sleep had made her irritable and quiet. She really thought she had found her place in the sun at the 4077th but in had turned out to be a khaki hell on earth.  
  
'Right, he's ready' Christmas exclaimed 'Put a finished label on him and send him to Tokyo'  
  
She snapped off her gloves and threw them to the cluttered floor that showed the work of 16 hours of surgery.  
  
'Kelly' Christmas turned to face an assisting nurse 'Gown and gloves please'  
  
'There are no more casualties ma'am' the nurse replied in a soft tone.  
  
'Come on Christmas' Trapper had approached Christmas and put her arm around her shoulders 'Let me buy you a drink'.  
  
It was all Christmas could do was to smile and follow Trapper back out to the scrub room.  
  
It was dark outside and as it was only 6:15, it was sign that winter had well and truly hit Korea with a bang. The crisp wind blew through Christmas as she wrapped her arms more tightly around herself. The pair ran across the compound and bowled into the Swamp, both collapsing onto Trappers cot in hits of hysteria. It took them a while to retain their composure before they realised that Hawkeye was probably asleep across the tent. Trapper looked up to see Hawkeye sitting in the chair next to his bed wearing his bathrobe.  
  
'Hey kids' Hawk trilled 'good day at the office'  
  
'Oh sorry Hawk, did we wake you?' Christmas was desperately trying to control herself but kept giggling.  
  
'No it's ok, I slept before I left America' Hawkeye smiled reassuringly.  
  
Trapper put his drink down and approached his bunkie as he put a hand to Hawk's forehead.  
  
'How you feeling?' Trapper inquired as he took Hawk's pulse.  
  
'I would feel better if I was allowed to go back to work, I'll tell you, all this rest is making me crazy!' Hawk snapped as Trap finished checking him over.  
  
'You were very sick Hawk' Trapper replied 'You long over-due some R&R anyway'.  
  
Hawk gave them both a knowing smile. 'Don't I know it, I was starting to pick flowers off the wallpaper'.  
  
The Swamp had become a second home to Christmas. She knew that if she needed a laugh or even a shoulder to cry on, she would find it there. Over the past few months, she had become decidedly closer to Hawkeye without realising it. They had a lot in common; neither of them had a great deal of family left, the way the coffee would always turn out to be a nasty shade of purple and how the war made them feel inside. Although he never told her, Hawkeye often dreamed about Christmas when he was ill. He figured that it was the one happy memory that he had to hold on to. Major Burns did not take Christmas off report; he didn't even think to tell her when it would finish. She had covered shifts for nurses when they had colds, stood on guard for 8 hours a night and only just managed to complete her own shifts before falling into bed only to be woken for another batch of casualties for a whole week.  
  
Christmas sat in the mess tent, a cold cup of coffee in front of her. She put her head in her hands and rubbed her swollen red eyes with the balls of her fingers. She honestly could not remember when she had last felt this tired; she hadn't been eating properly because she simply did not have the time to. The very thought of food now made her feel queasy; as she sat there her eyes began to close. There was one constellation; Hawkeye was now well enough to return to work. She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes once more. Christmas felt someone sit down on the bench next to her; slowing moving her head sideways she saw it was Hawk.  
  
'Hey' She whispered, as her throat was so sore she could do little else.  
  
'Hey, you ok?' Hawk questioned as he ran a hand along her cheek. 'You look like death'  
  
Christmas looked slightly putout but she didn't have the energy to retort. 'There's a reason' she coughed into her hand as she turned away from her visitor.  
  
'Didn't you get any sleep last night' Pearce questioned with a hint of concern in his voice.  
  
'I was on guard duty last night' Christmas replied 'I have been for the past week'.  
  
She slumped against the side of the tent and closed her eyes. The cold winter wind blow through he canvas and made her shiver deeply. Everything felt dark around her as she reached to pull herself back to the table. She was aware of Hawkeye speaking to her.  
  
'You need to get some sleep Christmas' he said sympathetically 'either that or you are gonna start screwing up surgically'  
  
Christmas didn't reply; she simply placed her head back in her hands.  
  
'Have you spoken to Henry about this' Hawk muttered so that no one else would hear. He was becoming increasingly concerned.  
  
'Why?' she questioned 'there is no point, I can't question the orders of a ranking officer and surgeon'.  
  
'Christmas, you have to' Hawk started 'What he is doing is fascist'  
  
'No Hawkeye' Christmas shouted with a quiver in her voice 'that's army order and discipline'. Christmas stood and made for the door but her right boot caught on the corner of the bench. This sent her flying forward and caused a collision between her right temple and the doorframe.  
  
Hawkeye hurried from the table to help her up but she shook away his embrace. Christmas stumbled as she regained equilibrium but lost her footing and fell into Hawkeye's arms. He gathered her legs into his arms and carried her to post-op where he could treat the cut that was bleeding furiously above her right eye.  
  
Luckily, the post-op exam room was deserted, as Christmas didn't have to explain her injury to anyone just yet. Dark red blood had dripped from the gash on her forehead down her cheek and onto the lapels of her uniform. She felt stupid, no, it's was more then stupid, it was moronic. She starred at her scuffed boots so she would not have to look Hawk in the eye.  
  
'Head up' Hawkeye gestured as he forced her head back slightly by placing his forefinger under her chin.  
  
The cut was quite wide and deep and it contained several splinters from the doorframe. Hawk applied a cotton wool swab soaked in Iodine to the abrasion; this made Christmas visibly wince and draw back slightly.  
  
'Sorry' Hawk apologised. He continued to clean the cut and removed the remaining shards of wood with a pair of tweezers.  
  
Though-out her treatment, Christmas tried to avoid Hawk's eye. She had been rude and felt that she didn't deserve him treating her. The pressure of his fingers forced the iodine deeper into the cut making her eyes water. This, she thought, was a perfect decoy for the tears that had built up behind her eyes and were threatening to break free over her cheeks. Hawk was soon finished placing butterfly stitches over the cut and was searching for a sterile dressing.  
  
'Now Madam' Hawkeye grinned 'which dressing can I interest you in today; the large 'look what I did' dressing or the smaller 'I'm hurt but I still have pride' dressing'.  
  
'Hawkeye' Christmas started but the tear that had spilt down her cheek stopped her. 'I'm sorry' she stuttered as she burst into a flood of tears.  
  
'Hey, it's ok, your alright now' Hawkeye reassured her. 'You'll have a great battle scar to show off'  
  
'Its not that' she sobbed 'I was so rude to you back in the mess tent, all you were trying to do was help me'. Hawkeye moved closer to her and she placed her head on his shoulder.  
  
'Not interrupting I hope?' Trapper had entered without either of them noticing. He had a mischievous grin that translated into 'I hope I haven't interrupted anything but if I have will you please tell me all the details right this moment'. It was then that Hawkeye moved aside and trapper could witness Christmas's injury for himself.  
  
'Geez, are you alright?' Trapper asked with the same hint of concern as Hawkeye had. Christmas was about to open her mouth but Hawk answered for her.  
  
'She decided to have a little argument with a doorframe' he announced.  
  
'I think the doorframe won' Trapper mumbled as he inspected Hawkeye's handiwork.  
  
'Thanks for your help Hawk' Christmas said as she slid herself from the table 'But I have a shift in a few minutes and I have to get changed' indicating the patch of dried blood that tarnished her otherwise clean shirt.  
  
Both men watched her leave and then turned to each other, one seemingly reading the others mind.  
  
'Is she ok?' Trap asked.  
  
'She's been working all hours and extra shifts plus being put on guard duty every night' Hawkeye explained 'Frank put her on report and has her pulling double shifts'.  
  
'You're kidding, Frank has? What did Henry say about this?'  
  
'She hasn't said anything to him, she believes it would be breaking orders if she did; you know how GI she is' Hawk explained as they both walked out to the compound 'I think she was just worried that it would be seen as insolent'  
  
'Do you think we should say something to Henry, he wouldn't of allowed it to go this far' Trap was annoyed, he couldn't believe that the CO would let it all get so out of hand.  
  
Darkness had well and truly fallen when Christmas finally returned to her tent. Major Houlihan was not there which made her breathe an enormous sigh of relief, if she had been, she probably have would received another lecture about watching where she was going; about how she was supposed to look like a doctor, not like a patient. Christmas put a hand to her forehead and felt the rough skin of the cut she had received earlier. She sunk to her cot and sat staring at her reflection in the mirror hanging across the tent from her. Her eyes were now deep-set from a severe lack of sleep; they felt dry and itchy and were a now a light pink colour. She glanced at her watch, 21:45, which meant she had fifteen minutes before guard duty.  
  
'How did I end in this mess' she wondered aloud. If she could just have a little sleep, she would feel a lot better for it. It surely wouldn't matter if she closed her eyes for ten minutes and then made her way over to the guardroom.  
  
'What do you think you are doing Captain' Frank spat at the sleeping figure in front of him.  
  
This loud noise woke Christmas suddenly causing her to snap open her eyes. When she saw the figure of Frank Burns in front of her, it sent a chilled sickness through her. She'd overslept, how could she have been so stupid.  
  
'Sir?' she managed to stammer in a broken tone.  
  
'You were meant to report to the guardroom at 22:00' the venom in his voice was still there. 'Do you know what time it is now Captain?'  
  
Feeling it would be rude to look at her watch, she cleared her throat.  
  
'No Sir?'  
  
'It is 22:35 hrs and I find you here asleep' Frank gave no sign of relenting. 'Think you're too good for my punishment do you?'  
  
Christmas quickly climbed to her feet, she did not need misconduct added to the list of charges Major Burns held against her.  
  
'For this Captain, you will serve both guard duty shifts tonight and may that be a lesson to you' Frank spat at her.  
  
He marched from the tent with his jacket pulled up over his head to shield himself from the pouring rain that lashed the compound.  
  
'Wonderful' she sighed and readied herself for another entire night of guard duty.  
  
It was bitterly cold outside, a night that not even animals should be out in. Sheets of icy rain belted her from all sides as a vicious north wind tried to knock her to the ground. What she had done, or in this case what she hadn't done, reverberated around her mind; Major Burns had asked her for a Kelly clamp and that was exactly what she gave him. How was she supposed to know that what we really wanted was a diva retractor? Christmas patrolled the compound slowly, thinking about why she had even applied for a commission in the first place; it all seemed so pointless right now. The storm grew progressively worse throughout the night leading to crescendos of thunder cracks and blinding lightning strikes. The last post-op shift change was taking place when she finally looked at her watch, 03:00; she still had four hours left. She was violently shaking with cold now, her fingers felt frozen to her rifle and her clothes were soaked through to her blue-tinged skin. She didn't know how much more of this she could take.  
  
There were figures moving in a tent up ahead of her, it didn't take long for her to realise that it was her tent. The figures were those of Major's Burns and Houlihan, both lying in Major Houlihan's cot; locked in each other's embrace. She stared at the couple for a split second and turned away instantly from her quarters. Her first reaction was to walk away but she simply stood in the middle of the compound unable to move. 


	7. The Braveness of Hawkeye

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter seven  
  
By the time the faint sun had risen into the cloudless sky above her, Christmas felt half dead; she felt frozen to the core. The driving rain had been replaced by strong, angry winds that almost lifted her off her feet as she walked back to the guardroom. She could only drag her feet through the murky dust that lined the ground. Christmas felt angry, not only with Major Burns but also with herself, she had convinced herself that she had done something to upset him in a previous life. Although there was a strong wind, the sun was dazzeralingly bright.  
  
Once she had been relieved of guard duty, Christmas wandered back out into the compound and let her body fall against the wall. It felt as if the wall was the only thing that could keep her upright. The first morning shift had just commenced, personnel milled around her without noticing the look of sheer exhaustion she wore. Trapper emerged from post-op and noticed Christmas slumped against the outside wall of Henry's office.  
  
'Hey' Trap stopped himself when he witnessed how run-down she looked 'are you all right, you look awful'.  
  
'I feel awful, it's a set' Christmas mumbled as squinted up to his towering figure standing in a beam of winter sunshine.  
  
Trapper held out his hand to pull his colleague upright, her skin felt cold to the touch and her grip wasn't very strong. He put a strong arm around her hunched shoulders and pulled her closer to him.  
  
'You been up all night again?' he asked quietly, speaking softly into her ear.  
  
Christmas simply nodded, the energy she thought she had suddenly escaped her as she felt her knees buckle underneath her. Trap felt her weight slip from his arm, quickly twisting around to help her stay on her feet. The Swamp was nearest, it seemed the most logical place to take her; she would be embarrassed anywhere else. Trap managed to kick the door open but it was forced back by the wind so making his way into the swamp was a bit of a struggle.  
  
Hawkeye was laying on his cot reading the latest shipment of medical journals from home, his dad had kept his word and sent them as they had arrived at his childhood home in Crabapple Cove. He looked up to see Trapper struggling to open the door; what was when he noticed the reduced figure of Christmas Hallwell. Hawk jumped to his feet to hold open the violently swinging door; a few of the last autumn leaves blowing into the tent.  
  
'Help me will ya' Trapper stifled as he tried to sit Christmas on Hawk's cot.  
  
'You alright?' Hawk was kneeling in front of Christmas holding her head up as she gazed into his eyes.  
  
Hawk's eyes were visibly scanning Christmas all over for signs of possible trauma; a problem he faced with this was that mental anguish could not be witnessed. Hawk's eyes flicked from the cut on her forehead that she had sustained the previous day to her mud stained boots. Christmas was shaking from the cold and the heat radiating from the stove did little to warm her.  
  
Christmas didn't answer him but her tears spoke volumes to Hawkeye; she breathed in deeply as they ran down her face.  
  
'Hey' Hawkeye mumbled, putting a hand to her face and wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye with his thumb.  
  
Christmas felt completely overcome with emotion; everything that had happened over the last ten days came flooding back. She lent forward and placed her arms around Hawkeye's shoulders allowing her hot, salty tears to soak into the material of his shirt. Christmas lost track of how long she held onto Hawk, her only wish at that moment was that she never had to let go. She felt Trapper's hand in her hair as Christmas's shoulders shook with the effort of releasing all the anger, frustration and pain she had kept to herself.  
  
After a while, Hawkeye couldn't stand to see Christmas too depressed and upset. He unwrapped himself from arms and slowly rose to his feet.  
  
'Hey, where you going?' Trapper trilled.  
  
'To do what should have been done a long time ago' Hawk announced to them both. With this, Hawkeye strode from the Swamp, across the compound towards Henry's office.  
  
As he entered the office, Hawk could clearly see that the CO wasn't around. Hawkeye cursed under his breathe as he looked up to see Christmas, supported by Trapper, pushing her way into the office. Trap eased her into a chair as he made a path for the drinks cabinet that stood locked in the corner. As Trapper shook the glass doors to gain access to the precious within, he heard the voice of Frank Burns.  
  
'Is Colonel Blake in?' the Major trilled.  
  
'Henry's not here Frank' Trap answered.  
  
'Are you sure, when he's here I sometimes get that feeling' Hawk grinned.  
  
Hawk and Trapper both took seats by Henry's desk and waited for the return of their gallant leader. Major Houlihan had accompanied Frank was holding a report for both captains to sign.  
  
'First you help us Frank' Hawkeye started as he got to his feet 'complete First you help us Frank, complete this saying I want out of this stinking, flea bitten war in 25 dirty words or less'. Hawk handed Major Burns an irrelevant piece of paper from Henry's desk, after quickly scanning it Frank realised that Hawk was making a fool out of him.  
  
'That'll be the day!' Frank began. 'Now hear this, I order you to sign' he announced as Hawk re-took his seat next to Trapper who presented him with a fresh glass of bourbon.  
  
'Sorry, we can't take any new orders until after Christmas' Hawk grinned as he threw a look at Hallwell.  
  
Major Houlihan was becoming annoyed with Hawk and Trapper. Why did they always have to cause a detrimental effect to Major Burn's chain of command? She felt she needed to step in and reinforce Franks request.  
  
'You can't disobey him, he's a Major'  
  
'A Major what Hotlips?' Trap trilled from his whiskey glass, knowing that this comment would rile Major Houlihan.  
  
'Ah just a minute, just a minute, he's only got two clusters, between us to captains we have eight bars' Hawkeye said this while pointing from himself, to Frank and back to Trapper. 'We outrank you by half a chorus!'  
  
Christmas couldn't help it; Hawkeye's last remark had left her giggling to herself. Major Burns observed this and turned to Hallwell with an angry expression.  
  
'I suppose you think this is funny Captain?' Frank barked at Hallwell's defiant behaviour 'you are the reason that I need these degenerates co- operation'  
  
'Why do you need us Frank?' Trapper enquired, a puzzled look adorning his face.  
  
'This release and transfer form needs to be signed by four officers and the commanding officer' Frank went on 'that is the procedure when a complaint has been lodged by another officer'.  
  
'And you're the other officer right Frank?' Hawk enquired climbing to his feet as he extracted the report from Frank's hand. 'What's all this about Frank, think the UN will find out who you really are, they really don't recruit enough horse doctors these days'.  
  
Hawkeye read on through the page, his face falling as the content became flooded recognition in his brain. The humour he had previously found in this situation turned suddenly to anger.  
  
'Frank, I don't if you've realised the nature of what you are doing' Hawk spat at the figure standing before him 'you're asking us to sign a death warrant for Christmas's career, forget it Frank!'  
  
'What's the charge Frank' Trapper enquired as he also felt his anger rise.  
  
'Insubordination, surgical incompetence, lack of military respect; the list goes on' Major Houlihan smiled.  
  
This was becoming too much for Hawkeye to stand, he had to call upon his reserve of strength just so he wouldn't punch the little ferret.  
  
'Let me tell you doctor, and I use the term loosely because it always gets a laugh' Hawk started, his eyes flaring with emotion 'Hallwell has done absolutely nothing wrong but listen to you'. Pearce took a deep breath before continuing. 'I don't know if you have realised what you have done to this poor girl' he gestured at Christmas who was slumped against Trapper, 'you have run her into the ground and this whole fiasco has been initiated by your own incompetence!'  
  
Hawkeye shook with emotion; he did not believe that the weasel could uphold these claims. If that report were to reach the proper authorities, Captain Hallwell would be stripped of her rank and expelled from the army; all on the account of something she didn't do.  
  
'Sign it McIntyre' Major Burns demanded 'You have no choice, I out-rank you'  
  
'Can we help it you are ranker than we are?' Trap replied, narrowing his eyes.  
  
'SIGN IT!' Frank bellowed as he pushed the paper once more into Hawkeye's face.  
  
'You don't see what you have done to her do you' Hawk shouted at a belittled Frank as he pointed to Christmas 'She's dead on her feet, she sleep deprived, deeply depressed and her white count is alarmingly high and its all down to you'  
  
With this comment, Major's Burn's and Houlihan left Hallwell with a few well-chosen words before they left. 'If is the last thing I do' Frank spat at Christmas 'I will see you out of this mans army, you don't belong here'.  
  
Christmas watched the door bang behind her intimidators as it swung on its hinges. The silence of the room engulfed her as she rose to her feet and made for the now silent door. 


	8. The Problem with Dad

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter eight The problem with Dad  
  
There are several things that could make Korea even less bearable; the worst of all was snow. However, this all the weather seemed to do for weeks. A problem with M.A.S.H units is that they where not designed to keep the wet weather out.  
  
Snow is a difficult element to predict behaviour for, first a solid then a liquid. The real problem was a mixture between the two was achieved more commonly known as slush. Snow coupled with boredom was an inescapable element that was experienced by all at the 4077th. Hawkeye had enough boredom to supply the whole US army for a year so he resorted to his back- up activity, writing to his father. Hawk felt guilty about this, it had been so long since he had last written to dad.  
  
The pad of paper that Hawkeye held in his hand remained as he struggled to find a happy enough memory that was suitable to send home, finally settling on whole fiasco that had plagued the past two weeks. The cool steel of the pen dug into his fingers as Hawkeye set to work on describing the ordeal that had befallen the 4077th.  
  
Dear Dad, I know it's been a long time since I last wrote but things have been on the verge of unbelievable. The weather has taken a definite turn for the worse as the snow blows in from the north and has knocked out three of our four generators. If the situation doesn't improve soon, I can safely say that the cold may kill us if boredom doesn't get in first. Although the weather is making a large dent in the already low moral, Trapper and I try to remain upbeat by making up obscene prescriptions and throwing them into the nurse's tent.  
  
A new addition to the camp since my last letter is one Captain Christmas Hallwell. She's a swell gal who was born at the Foreman Street hospital in Maine but then immigrated to England a few weeks afterwards with her parents; her mother a British Army Major who was also a nurse, her father is a US Officer, General Hallwell. You'd like her dad, so kind, sweet and caring and did I mention she is a surgeon? Her surgical skills sometimes leave me in her dust - she completed open-heart surgery in less than four hours.  
  
The inappropriate behaviour that has occurred over the past few weeks has been on the part of Major Frank Burns, horse doctor extraordinaire. Frank's behaviour and treatment of Dr Hallwell has not only unbecoming of another doctor but also as another human being. He subjected her to all night guard duty, extra shifts and sleep deprivation all because she handed him the instrument he asked for in surgery. This incident prompted an investigation by our CO Henry Blake, a man not known for his diligence but his compassion is unrivalled by anyone I have ever met before. As a result of the investigation, Frank has been placed under house arrest awaiting court marshal. Christmas is recovering well from the torment and all out exhaustion that Frank Burns insisted on wielding over her.  
  
I am feeling pretty much back to top form after that little bout of nastiness otherwise known as the blood poisoning incident. Although it seems to have lowered my alcohol tolerance somewhat, the still is working overtime to get me back drinking with the best. Even though my progress was slow at first, it made me feel frustrated that I couldn't operate and help to share the workload. Everyone was stretched to breaking point and I really did feel sorry for Trapper and Christmas, they already had more then enough to do without my share of casualties as well.  
  
I hope all goes well at home and the practise and that I see you again soon.  
  
May this letter find you as it leaves me, safe and well. Hawkeye.  
  
Hawk folded up his letter and placed it into an envelope with a deep sigh, god he missed his father. It these he missed him then ever, the days when the cold felt like it would chill your bone marrow. He could remember lying on the hearthrug as a young boy, letting the heat from the roaring fire wash over him. A gust of blindingly icy winter wind blew through the swamp as Hawkeye placed the letter to his father lovingly under his pillow.  
  
Hawk gazed around the tent; he was alone apart from the cockroaches. Armed MP's had taken Major Burns to Seoul a few hours ago while he awaited court marshal for inflicting cruelty to a fellow officer. Trapper, Henry, Hawkeye and Christmas would be giving evidence at his trial. The knock at the door roused Hawkeye from his reminiscence while the gust of wind caused him to turn and face his visitor. It was Christmas. She froze in front of the closed door smiling back at Hawkeye, her bright green eyes sparkling brightly.  
  
'Hey' she spoke in a delicate tone that made the hairs on the back of Hawkeye's neck stand on end. 'I thought you could use some company'.  
  
'Thanks, I could' Hawk replied, he felt touched that she concerned herself with his well being. 'How are you feeling, I thought you were facing a ruling to stay in bed'  
  
'Ah rules, rules, rules' Christmas smiled 'Rules are made to be broken'  
  
Hawkeye could feel himself becoming more attracted to Christmas with every word she spoke. The dreams of Christmas from when he was ill suddenly came flooding back making him turn his head away quickly. Christmas didn't notice this as she sat down in Hawk's favourite chair and removed her snow- covered overcoat.  
  
'Drink?' Hawk asked as he stood to make to make a path for the still.  
  
'I don't think I should be drinking raw sprits so early in the morning' she replied as Hawkeye handed her a glass.  
  
'To our kidneys sir' Hawkeye announced as a toast, 'they were fun while they lasted'.  
  
Together they clinked their glasses to the toast, knowing that it was true. As Hawk sipped his martini, his thoughts turned back to the dreams he had experienced. Hawkeye had never told anyone about these dreams; not even Trapper. The distracted look of concentration on Hawkeye's face caught her attention.  
  
'You wanna talk about it?' Christmas enquired in a soft tone seeing Hawk's face.  
  
He smiled at her but his mind still casting around for something matter of fact to say; his mind drew a blank. He had to tell her sooner of later; it was melting his insides to keep it to himself.  
  
'Its nothing really, just Frank's court marshal' Hawkeye lied quickly trying not to put his real feelings on display.  
  
'Oh' Christmas was now quiet and thoughtful; she had somehow managed to forget the impending trial where her appalling treatment would be put under intense scrutiny. 'Do you know when the trial starts?'  
  
'Not for a few days' Hawk reassured her 'then the MP's will take statements from us all for the Judge Advocate' He smiled again 'but until then, we have three Frank-free blissful days'.  
  
They both sipped their drinks in silence, their minds racing at the prospect of giving evidence against Major Burns. An announcement over the PA system shattered the silence between them.  
  
'ATTENTION, ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL! Due to the recent weather conditions and the recent lack of casualties, tonight's film will now be shown in the mess tent at 1000hrs'  
  
'Do you know what is playing?' Hawk asked, he wasn't really interested but gave him a topic of conversation.  
  
'A Bonzo film I think, I'm not sure which one it is' Christmas supplied.  
  
'I think I'll wait for the book to come out' Hawk quipped half-heartedly.  
  
Another gust of icy wind filled the Swamp as the figure of Trapper emerged through the door. He, like Christmas, was covered in snow even though he had run from post-op. He stood coughing in the doorway as he fought to regain control of his breathing.  
  
'You alright Trap?' Hawk enquired looking worryingly at his bunkie.  
  
'Fine' Trapper wheezed 'this weather always sits badly on my chest'.  
  
Trapper sat himself down on his cot as he proceeded to brush the thin layer of snow and frost from his uniform. He looked tired; the night shift had obviously been a long one.  
  
'A winter warmer?' jested Hawkeye as he handed Trapper a glass of raw sprits.  
  
'Why thank you Ms Hawkeye' Trap exclaimed in a faux southern accent.  
  
Christmas loved it when they were all together; it gave her sense of security and closeness. She enjoyed the way that friendly banter followed from person to person and the way they could both tell when she needed someone to be with.  
  
'Another drink Captain Hallwell' announced Hawkeye as he saluted a grinning Christmas.  
  
'No thanks Hawk, I have shift in half an hour' she redeemed 'anyway I have a rule, no more then one glass of pure alcohol before 8am'.  
  
At this remark, Trapper let forward a tent shaking laugh that swept Hawkeye up in its waves. It was definite; Christmas really loved these two misfits but the company clerk Radar O'Reily interrupted he rip tide of laughter.  
  
'Mail call sirs' Radar trilled but his voice of mumbled by the think woollen scarf that was bound around his neck.  
  
'Ah' Trapper barked in a faux British accent that made Christmas grimace 'The post has arrived!'  
  
'Um yeah' muttered Radar 'package for you Trap' he stated as the clerk held out a brown paper package.  
  
'Cheers!' boomed Trapper as he simultaneously took the package and toasted Radar at the same time.  
  
'Letter for you Captain' he held out a thick white envelope to Christmas timidly.  
  
'Thank you Radar' she gestured with a smile.  
  
'And what did Santa bring me?' asked Hawkeye, the look of an expectant child plastered across his face.  
  
'Letters Hawk, three of them'  
  
'Thanks Radar' Hawk smiled as he took the letters 'Take two Norman Rockwell's out of petty cash'  
  
Radar turned to leave when Hawkeye called him back. He reached under his pillow and pulled out his father's letter.  
  
'You can get this into out-going mail right?' Hawk enquired as he pressed the letter into the clerk's small hand. Radar smiled, took the letter and proceeded to pull open the door with great difficulty.  
  
'Ah Radar' Trapper sighed at the corporal's retreating back 'He's been in my family for years; I found him on my doorstep one morning. Never regretted taking him out of the milk bottle'.  
  
Hawk looked up from his letter to ask Christmas if she knew about a friend of his back in Maine but he paused at the look of blank terror that adorned her face. She was white and trembling, the paper transfixed by her gaze.  
  
'Christmas?' Hawk asked softly as he stood behind her.  
  
Christmas looked up from the letter and turned to look Hawk in the eye. Her eyes were glassy with the promise of far-off tears.  
  
'Uh' she stuttered, her voice trembling as if she had been momentarily winded. 'My dad died' 


	9. Death's Lonely Shadow

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter nine  
  
The words in the letter didn't seem to make sense, they were just words on a page. Numbness had grabbed hold of Christmas as she felt her body lose all feeling. Hawkeye and Trapper's voices sounded as if they were originating from an old, broken grammar phone.  
  
'Christmas?' Hawk repeated trying to make himself heard over the screaming voice she could hear in her head.  
  
She didn't reply; she couldn't speak. The slightly crumpled envelope fell from her white knuckled grasp to the floor.  
  
'I.. I.. It has to be a mistake' she stuttered as Hawkeye bent down to retrieve another sheet of paper that had fallen from the envelope.  
  
'It's not a mistake' Hawk breathed softly as he handed Christmas a sheet of newspaper, it was from a recent edition of Stars and Stripes. The headline was blunt yet to the point in bold black font: GENERAL HALLWELL DIES.  
  
Christmas did not take the page of newspaper print but stared at it blankly as if it were a figment of her imagination.  
  
'What.ah' Christmas started, steadying her voice 'what does it say'  
  
Hawkeye looked to Trapper for help but Trap's gaze was fixed on a worn out area of the flooring. Hawk didn't want to read the report out loud but he was also deeply shocked and saddened that Christmas had to find out this way. He cleared this throat at started to read the heart-wrenching article.  
  
'It was announced late on the evening of December 13th that recently promoted two star General Horatio Hallwell was killed in the charge of Ko Pong hill, North Korea'.  
  
Hawk stopped reading and glanced towards Christmas, her attention was centred on the action of her fingers that were coiling around her hands. He went on, feeling as if it were the proper thing to do.  
  
'The General gave his life in action to preserve the victory of the United States of America and for this we thank, honour and praise him'.  
  
Hawk put down the page down lightly on his cot and placed his hand onto Christmas's shoulder.  
  
'I'm so sorry Chrissie' Hawk whispered. His body language spoke volumes of the grief that he knew Christmas would not let go or put on display for others to see.  
  
'Why be sorry' she mumbled 'it wasn't your fault'.  
  
With this, Christmas rose to her feet and removed the newspaper from Hawk's cot. She started to purposely stride from the tent but had not picked up her coat and stopped at the door when she felt Trapper hand on her arm. Her movement desisted as the pressure of the hand stopped her continuing.  
  
'Do you wanna talk about it' Trap asked as he held her coat in his free hand.  
  
'No' Christmas's reply blunt as she pulled her coat from Trapper's grasp and then exited swiftly to fight her way across the snow-covered compound.  
  
  
  
Rosie's Place was all but deserted bar one, that one was Hawkeye. He didn't feel like drowning his sorrows at the Swamp, his sorrows had learned how to swim in gin. He hadn't seen Chrissie since her letter that morning; he thought it best to let her grieve in a personal way. It was usual quiet in the bar; few locals used it and servicemen usually only frequented on a Friday night.  
  
Hawkeye had sat in the dingy bar with a glass of sake in front of him, hardly even touching it. Thoughts of how Chrissie was going to deal with her tragedy raced across his brain. She now didn't have a single-family member left.  
  
'How depressing' Hawkeye mumbled as a pretty Korean girl bustled up to his table to take the candle from the table.  
  
'More Sake Joe?' the girl giggled  
  
'No thanks Renia, goodnight' he sighed.  
  
Hawkeye exited the shabby run down bar into the cold night air, pausing to survey his surroundings. The camp seemed calm in the dark, almost peaceful in the half-light being thrown off by the moon.  
  
Meanwhile, as Hawkeye stood at his vantage point surveying his empire, Christmas Hallwell sat in her tent with pen and paper in hand. One thing her mother used to tell her was that if she couldn't tell someone a problem, you should write it down and then burn the paper. This action would help to remove the problem from your psyche. Although this made sense, she did feel a little foolish but she found when she started to write, it was impossible to stop.  
  
I never thought I would ever have to write this but the time has come that I must. I received word today that my daddy is dead.  
  
As this point she stopped, writing things down was like admitting that they really had happened; she didn't think she was ready for that yet. Without her noticing, a tear had slipped down her left cheek and smudged her copperplate script. Christmas roughly wiped her eyes and forced herself to continue.  
  
My daddy, I felt like you were never there for me. I was born in the states but I felt that my true home was in England with mum. Things never seemed right when you were with us but I still loved you. You always said that absence makes the heart grow fonder; it is now that I find this to be true. Remember that tutu you had made for me in New York on my fifth birthday? I do, in fact its still in my baggage back home.  
  
I don't hate you for not being there for me, I know it was part of your job. I know that mum wanted me to stay in England for my education, I guess she didn't want me to face any prejudice because of your title and rank. I never fully understood the pressures that you faced everyday until now, until I put myself in the position that you were in.  
  
You always used to pride yourself on having so much and coming from so little, you never would admit your past to anyone that you did not trust 110%. You're past never mattered to me. I didn't care that you're mother was a whore or that you were born in a brothel. I never repeated that to anybody, not even myself. You always said that you hoped to die in the army because it was there that you felt at home; at least now you have had your wish granted.  
  
I know mum loved you but I know I needed you more. Your daughter, Christmas.  
  
She lost track of how long she sat staring at her words, however long it was; it seemed like hours. Tears had dried on her cheeks without being brushed away by a damp sleeve. A deep cough raised her to her senses as Hawkeye stood in her doorway.  
  
'Oh Hawk' she stammered 'I didn't hear you come in'.  
  
'Not disturbing am I' Hawk gestured as he lowered himself onto her cot.  
  
Chrissie sat in silence; she suddenly couldn't find the right words. She opened her mouth to reply but no words escaped, the only movement were the tears that spilled down her cheeks.  
  
'Hey' Hawk mumbled as he put his strong arms around her shoulders.  
  
Chrissie just sat there sobbing in Hawkeye's arms, not knowing if she should pull away or speak. She could feel Hawkeye's hand stroking her hair as she sobbed.  
  
'Daddy, my daddy' Chrissie cried, her voice quivering with grief.  
  
Hawk couldn't find any words; probably for the fast time in his life he was stunned into silence. He had never been good at comforting women but something his mother had once told him came flooding back 'a woman wants a man who will listen'. This is exactly what he did but Chrissie's racking sobs were becoming too much to listen to.  
  
'Come on Chrissie' Hawk sighed as he brought her face up to meet his.  
  
Hawk gently pushed back Chrissies hair from her damp, red face and kissed her gently in the centre of her forehead. His hand shifted gently through her hair as her glassy, green eyes met his.  
  
'I really am very sorry' Hawk whispered.  
  
Christmas felt completely overwhelmed, she had rarely experienced emotion this strong in her life before. She became caught up in the moment as she kissed Hawkeye back. As he responded as a kiss, the reality of the situation suddenly dawned on her as she pulled away leaping off the cot.  
  
'No' Christmas shouted as she stumbled to gain equilibrium 'what am I doing?'  
  
Hawkeye jumped off the cot to Chrissie's side but she pushed him aside.  
  
'I just don't know if I can' Chrissie mumbled as she turned away from Hawkeye, she thought that becoming involved with a man like Hawkeye would go against everything her father ever wanted for her. Her father never would approve of anybody who wasn't regular army but he was a doctor and an excellent one at that.  
  
Hawkeye approached her from behind and placed his hands onto Chrissie's shoulders but she didn't retract away.  
  
'I know you have a lot of personal grief to deal with' Hawkeye whispered soulfully into her ear 'but I want you to know I will always be here for you'  
  
Chrissie turned to face those cool blue eyes and steadied her voice.  
  
'I know Hawkeye, I always wished that you would be' she breathed.  
  
Hawkeye felt the passion build between and pressed his lips soulfully to hers. Chrissie wanted this; she wanted it so badly and for so long.  
  
The morning sun burnt through the dark winter cloud and the wind had died down to almost a breeze. Hawkeye opened his eyes but he didn't see the all- too familiar surroundings of the Swamp but the neat khaki fashion of Captain Hallwell's tent. He cast his mind back to the night before; they had talked about their families and memories. When the sun began to peep around the clouds, Christmas had fell into a secure sleep with Hawkeye's arms safely wrapped around her. Thoughts suddenly flew across his brain, had he really slept with her? She was in such a venerable position. Hawkeye's fears were calmed when he looked down at their entangled bodies; they were both fully clothed. 


	10. The Love of a Good Woman

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter ten The Love of a Good Woman  
  
The mess tent was mostly empty as Trapper sat alone clasping a white mug of coffee, writing pad open in front of him. He mentally counted back the weeks since he had last written to his wife, three weeks, three whole weeks. Recounting the events the last few weeks made Trapper's head hurt so he thought he would begin with the usual pleasantries like telling his wife how much he loved her. As his hand graduated across the page, the blue ink forming shapes and symbols that constituted words, he heard a small voice behind him.  
  
'You busy Trap? Have you got a minute?' Chrissie asked in a small voice.  
  
Trap swivelled around on the bench to face his addresser and let forward a grin as he spoke.  
  
'For you Chrissie, anytime' Trapper smiled, as he gestured for Chrissie to fill the space he had vacated next to him. 'What's on your mind kid?'  
  
In truth, Chrissie really didn't like being hailed as a 'kid'; she had fought throughout her career to be omitted from people that would call her 'darling' or 'sweetheart' as a form of derogatory speech. Thinking of this, she swallowed back her words and turned to face Trapper with only one thing on her mind.  
  
'Its about Hawkeye' Chrissie stopped to reflect upon what she had just said but had to finish. 'Its about the other night'  
  
Trapper was intrigued; Hawk hadn't said anything to him about his extra- curricular activities. Hawkeye would normally spill forth the details of any conquest but this time he obviously didn't feel like playing kiss and tell. Trap's mind continued to race until Chrissie explained the situation that had been plaguing her conscience since that morning.  
  
'He stayed with me all night' Chrissie sighed 'we just talked until the sun came up, when I woke up he had gone'  
  
Trapper looked confused, he didn't know how or why Hawkeye had disappeared, he hadn't made it back to the Swamp. He had never done that before and never over a woman, from Trapper's knowledge, Hawkeye had never been so held up about one girl.  
  
'I'm sure he's fine, he always is' Trap reassured her 'he's probably off licking his wounds somewheres'.  
  
Chrissie smiled but the smile didn't reach her eyes, the glimmer she normally held on to no matter what, had gone. Trapper could see the look of exhaustion in her eyes, even though she would never admit that she had to stop before she broke down.  
  
'Now it's my turn to ask a question' Trap supposed to Chrissie.  
  
This intrigued her, what did Trapper want to know about. Her tone was questioning when she answered.  
  
'What exactly?' Chrissie questioned, probing for an answer.  
  
'When was the last time you did anything for yourself?' Trapper began 'I mean, spent an evening by yourself writing letters, reading or spent an evening in the officers club?'  
  
Trapper's words made Chrissie think, she really couldn't recall the last time she spent sometime enjoying the pleasure of her own company when she wasn't grieving. The idea of writing anymore letters after the outpouring of her heart for her father was too much and too difficult to comprehend at that moment in time.  
  
Trapper's half finished letter to his wife lay open on the table so Chrissie decided to use it as a change of topic for their conversation.  
  
'You writing to your wife?' Chrissie enquired.  
  
'Shh' Trap hissed jokingly 'Do you want to get me thrown out of the 'M.A.S.H 4077th Best Bachelors Society?'  
  
Chrissie smiled briefly before applying her sharp wit in a reply.  
  
'I think you are forgetting Trapper John Francis Xavier McIntyre, you're married remember? She quipped, indicating his wife's half finished letter.  
  
'That was just an ugly rumour started by my wife' Trapper laughed. 'You have started to sound like Louise'. Another tiny grin spread across his lips.  
  
'Thanks Trap' Chrissie smiled as she rose from the table and turned to leave but Trapper called her back.  
  
'If you see that no good, degenerate bunkmate of mine, tell him I'm looking for him' Trapper called over his shoulder.  
  
'Will do Trap' Chrissie grinned as she pushed open the mess tent door.  
  
It really was a beautiful morning for that time of year; she just had to imagine the birds singing. The wind had died away completely now leaving only a thin layer of white cloud punctuating the clear skyline. The pathway leading out of the compound was completely clear of rocks now, the suspension on the ambulances needed constant work as they where forced to drive over the rocks to gain entrance to the hospital. The gentle hum of an ambulance approached her as she stepped out of the way to allow the empty vehicle back into the camp.  
  
As Chrissie surveyed the landscape of the adjacent mountains, she noticed a stationary khaki figure sitting on the rocks looking out towards the meadows. At first, familiarity did not register but then figure moved and she realised who it was as she moved towards him.  
  
'Hawkeye?' Chrissie asked.  
  
Hawk froze at the sound of his name, he knew who it was but didn't know if he could reciprocate to her. The reason why he had come out to edge of the compound was to think about her, Hawk knew he couldn't go far incase more wounded arrived.  
  
'Chrissie' Hawk spoke to his shoulder; he did not turn around to face her, which would have been the gentlemanly thing to do.  
  
She took a seat next to him as she placed her hand lovingly onto his. Hawkeye recoiled his hand as if he had been burned but immediately wished he hadn't.  
  
'Sorry' Hawk mumbled as he replaced his hand next to hers.  
  
'I just wanted to say thank-you for last night' Chrissie started 'you were a perfect gentlemen, a lot of men would have taken advantage but you didn't'.  
  
'That's me' Hawk whispered.  
  
Chrissie felt like she had touched a nerve and the best thing she could do was leave him be. Hawk sensed her leaving him, he had to stop her to apologise and explain his previous behaviour.  
  
'Chrissie' Hawk started looking into her eyes as he took her hand 'I feel I should explain my recent behaviour and why I acted the way I did'. She sat back down next to him although closer this time.  
  
'I left earlier because I didn't know how to re-act when you woke up' Hawk explained.  
  
'Oh' Chrissie replied 'When did you leave? Trap said you never came back to the Swamp'  
  
'Oh about five' Hawk replied airily 'I didn't want to wake you or Trap by going back so I just wandered for a while'.  
  
'Listen, Chrissie' Hawk began; he needed his words to ring with conviction. 'Last night meant a lot to me, I have never opened up to a woman like that before'.  
  
'I must say' Chrissie started 'it was a first for me as well, I would never discuss my father with everyone because people assume that I'm a very young captain because he was a very old general'  
  
'Old boys club?' Hawkeye mused putting his arm around her shoulders.  
  
'The whole army is, just like it's traditions and regulations; they are all so anchored in the past' she sighed.  
  
Saying this, Chrissie lent into Hawkeye's chest as he placed his other arm across her body and linked his hands over her shoulder. Once again, Chrissie felt the same secure feeling she had experienced the previous evening with Hawkeye.  
  
Hawkeye felt a warm feeling come over him, something he hadn't felt in such a long time for a woman. He knew it wasn't because he was the first available punch bag for her emotions. They had clicked from the start, from the moment she had sped into the compound on the jeep carrying her first patient in Korea and the way he had mistaken her for an angel of mercy.  
  
It was the little things that were making Hawkeye crazy about her. He inclined his head and inhaled her aroma. He didn't know how they did it, but women had one of the most amazing smells ever and they were all different.  
  
For a few minutes they sat in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Chrissie raised her face to his to speak but instead she caught sight of Hawkeye's wristwatch.  
  
'Oh lord, is that the time?' Chrissie shrieked as she leapt to her feet 'I'm late for Post-Op duty'.  
  
She finished dusting herself off and turned back to Hawkeye where she found him smiling at her.  
  
'See you later' Chrissie grinned as she rushed of towards the olive drab building, pulling on her white lab coat as she ran.  
  
Hawkeye watched her run the length of the compound and through the white double doors of the hospital. Grinning to himself he thought it best to return to the Swamp for a little R&R&R&R. Seeing Trapper through the mesh of the tent wall, Hawkeye entered the khaki bombsite that passed for his home.  
  
'Hi Honey, I'm home' Hawkeye bellowed as he threw his arms into the air and rushed towards the still completely ignoring Trapper. Hawk's path was blocked as he bunkmate stepped out in front of him.  
  
'Where have you been, you promised you would be home by ten' Trap quipped as Hawk tried to reach around him for a glass.  
  
'I was otherwise engaged' Hawk mentioned as Trappers force broke and he could finally reach the still.  
  
'Anyone I know?' Trap said with a knowing glint in his eye 'It just that you didn't come back last night so I figured you got a better offer'.  
  
'Yeah, you know her' Hawkeye mumbled into his martini.  
  
Trapper poured himself a glass of raw sprits and sat on his cot, ready to question his best friend.  
  
'It's just that you haven't had a date since Chrissie came on the scene' he mused 'the nurses around here were beginning to think that you were actually married after all'.  
  
'All right, all right' Hawkeye exclaimed as he put his glass down on the table 'I spent the night with Chrissie'.  
  
'And?' Trap probed.  
  
'And nothing, we just talked' Hawk explained.  
  
'The whole night?'  
  
'Yes the whole night' Hawk went on 'I would feel like such a fraud trying anything, she was in such a venerable position'.  
  
Trap smiled at his bunkmate and let Hawk continue his account of his behaviour the previous evening.  
  
'How do they do it Trap' Hawkeye mumbled as he threw himself back to lay on his cot 'how do they manage to drive us crazy but remain sane themselves'  
  
'No woman is sane, they can't be to put up with us' Trapper replied as he got to his feet to leave. 'I'll leave you with those thoughts but I'll give you one tip Hawk, you'll never work them out'.  
  
'As my mother always used to say' Trap started putting on a faux southern accent 'I'm not denyin' that woman are foolish; God almighty made 'em to match the men'.  
  
'Trap, I think you have forgotten who you are talking to' Hawkeye mused 'I am Hawkeye Pearce, good friend to men and an even better one to women'.  
  
As Trapper left the Swamp, Hawkeye continued to think about Chrissie. The feelings he knew that were forming would be a welcome change from the usual curses of hate and fear; love would make a nice change. 


	11. POW

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter eleven P.O.W  
  
Frank had always been one to enjoy his own company and now he felt like he was driving himself crazy. Bright beams of winter sunshine pierced the gloomy darkness of the holding cell where Major Burns had been kept for the last 48 hours. Up above him where the richly decorated offices of the Advocate General that made a stark contrast to Frank's current situation.  
  
'This is a fine and dandy situation to be in' Frank thought out loud as he watched a drop of water run down the opposite wall. 'You wouldn't think they would treat an American like this'.  
  
The main problem Frank had to deal with during his isolation was boredom; the guards had stopped his mail and withheld his visitors. He was now considered a full prisoner of war. He couldn't bear the thought that his wife or anybody back home might find out about his current situation.  
  
'I'd like to see the face on Pearce and that Hallwell when they find out that I was only following procedure' Frank cackled to himself.  
  
The disturbing thing about Frank was that he had developed an unnerving tendency to talk to himself. The days seemed to mould into nights easily and often without recognition. The sound of a key in the lock of his cell roused him from his thoughts and caused him to look for the source of the disturbance. One of the guards from the offices above stepped into the cell; he held a pair of handcuffs, which he began to fasten to the Major's wrists.  
  
'The judge has arrived for your hearing' the guard grunted as he pushed Frank through the now open cell door.  
  
Harsh, clinical lighting strips lit the corridor the guard marched along; the cream walls only increased the glare from the overhead rectangles. Major Burns was led up several flights of roughly carpeted stairs and pushed through a green door at the summit.  
  
'You are to wait here' the guard announced as he slammed and locked the solid door.  
  
Christmas surveyed the reflection that stared back at her from out of the full-length mirror.  
  
'Well' Chrissie mumbled to herself 'as always this is as good it is going to get' as she adjusted the collar of her dress uniform shirt.  
  
Chrissie put a hand to her hair and patted the bun that was securely fastened to the back of her head, the plain yet elegant clip that had once belonged to her mother was nuzzled atop her captured length of chestnut hair.  
  
She had been dreading this day ever since Major Burns had been taken away by armed MP's three days ago. She could still remember the look on his face as he was driven away and what he had shouted as the jeep had sped through the dust 'You just wait Hallwell, you'll see that the law is on my side'.  
  
Chrissie took a deep breath in as she turned from the mirror and noticed a figure standing in her doorway; it was Hawkeye. Like Chrissie, Hawk was wearing his complete dress uniform; he did look smart Chrissie thought to herself as she smiled at her visitor.  
  
'Ready' Hawk asked as she walked to her cot and picked up her uniform overcoat.  
  
'As I'll ever be' Chrissie replied stopping in front of Hawk.  
  
Hawkeye looked serious, more so then he normally would but the mischievous look that played in and around his eyes remained.  
  
'You Ok?' he asked, lightly brushing her cheek with the back of his hand.  
  
Chrissie swallowed down the nausea she could feel raising in her chest and nodded slowly. Suddenly she felt as if the day was going to become a downward spiral of interrogation.  
  
'I'm going to be there with you, behind you all the way' Hawkeye whispered as he drew her closer into a tight embrace, she could still smell his shaving cream.  
  
Chrissie smiled, thanking Hawkeye under her breath. Hawkeye pressed his lips lightly against hers but a jeep's horn sounding through the crisp morning air shattered the moment.  
  
'Radar' Hawkeye muttered as he pushed open the door and allowed Chrissie to exit before he followed her to the awaiting olive-drab jeep.  
  
The lack of wind lent the compound an almost serene notion but sharp gusts would occasionally rush through the camp, chilling all those it caught in its path. Chrissie pulled her overcoat tightly around her to protect herself from the bracing wind.  
  
'Come on Trap, put that nurse down and get in' Hawkeye hollered as Trapper appeared from the Swamp straitening his uniform and adjusting his hat.  
  
'I was just finishing off what I started' Trap grinned as he climbed into the jeep next to Hawk 'my mother always used to say that I should finish a job properly'.  
  
The jeeps engine groaned into life as Radar negotiated the vehicle through the servicemen out of the compound. Not much was said during the thirty- four mile trip down to Seoul. Hawk held Chrissie's hand as the jeep jumped and shuddered along the crater-strewn roads of South Korea. He did not realise it until they had reached HQ.  
  
The judge advocates office was located along several labyrinthine passages, each more complex then the last. As the group were starting to get the impression that the passage they were walking down led to the centre of the earth, their path suddenly opened up to reveal a large hall set out in accordance to the Geneva conventions guideline for courtrooms.  
  
'Wow' Trapper mumbled under his breath as they all took in the enormity of where they would be interrogated for the next few hours.  
  
A corpsman showed then to their seats at the side of the courtroom, opposite them stood the judge's bench and the defendant's dock. Chrissie didn't want to be here, she would rather be at an aid station or fighting the North Koreans with a butter knife; anywhere else but here.  
  
'All rise for the right honourable Colonel Justice Law' the court Lieutenant announced as the assembled party from the 4077th rose to their feet.  
  
A distinguished Colonel had taken his seat as Judge Advocate, his brown and khaki uniform was neatly pressed while the medals on his chest jingled with military importance.  
  
'Please be seated' the judge indicated to the members of the 4077th 'bring in the accused'  
  
A set of heavy wooden doors opened to their right and through the empty space several armed MP's escorted Major Burns into the courtroom.  
  
'I call this court to order' Colonel Law announced 'Would you please close the doors' he asked to a courtroom usher.  
  
The large doors that segregated the proceedings in the courtroom from the rest of the world were slammed shut as the trial of Major Burns on three counts of cruelty of a fellow officer began.  
  
Several hours passed before any movement from the room was made or a sound was heard. The shuffling of feet along a corridor broke the silence as the doors were pushed open to reveal a very weary set of surgeons and nurses. As Chrissie had taken the position of the defendant, she had been cross examined by lawyers, MP's and the judge himself; she was now feeling emotionally drained.  
  
'Well my girl' Hawk boomed impersonating his father 'you were excellent'.  
  
'Thank you' Chrissie mumbled in reply  
  
'He's right Hallwell, you were very professional in there' Henry chimed 'It looked like you've had some political training in the past'  
  
Chrissie sighed and smiled to herself 'my father always told me that the most important thing is to remain democratic'. She hadn't realised it but at that moment she had just become her fathers daughter.  
  
'I used to be an appointed medical examiner at the Old Bailey back in London' Chrissie reported as they stepped out into the warm sunshine of the courtyard.  
  
Hawk laughed as he put his arm around hers shoulders 'Didn't I say my girl was terrific!'  
  
'RAD...' Henry started but he was cut off.  
  
'Yes Sir?' came the reply from behind the CO 'the jeep is being brought round now'  
  
As their transport rumbled around the corner, an MP came running from the main building. He came skidding to a holt in front of the assembled party.  
  
'Begging your pardon Sir' the MP announced as he addressed Henry 'but Colonel Justice Law requests that Captain Hallwell remains behind for further questioning before the verdict is passed'.  
  
'Lieutenant' Chrissie started 'why is my presence and detainment required?'  
  
'The Colonel has further questions to ask' the MP replied sternly 'I'm sorry Ma'am, I know as much as you do'  
  
Chrissie turned back to Henry with a determined look 'I'm sure its just procedure, I have no option but to stay'  
  
'I'm going to stay too' piped up Hawkeye 'you're going to need someone here with you' he mumbled turning to Chrissie.  
  
She shook her head 'you have to go back, for the sake of the wounded'.  
  
'She's right Pearce' Henry announced as he placed his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder 'I can't account for two absent surgeons let alone three'  
  
Hawkeye gave Henry a knowing empty smile as he put his arms around Chrissie's shoulders.  
  
'I'll be waiting for you to come back' Hawk whispered into Chrissie's ear.  
  
'I know' Chrissie replied.  
  
They broke apart from one another as Radar puller Chrissie's bag from the jeep and placing it on the ground by her side. Hawkeye never once took his eyes from the figure of Captain Hallwell until she was a blip in the distance.  
  
The speeding jeep soon disappeared from Chrissie's sight as she kissed her fingers and waved the kiss towards the disappearing jeep. The MP soon roused her from her pre-occupation.  
  
'This way Ma'am' the MP gestured as he picked up Chrissie's bag and directed her back inside the large khaki building. 


	12. Anywhere But Here

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter twelve  
  
Hawkeye was at a loose end, without Chrissie he had little to amuse himself. The Swamp held few toys that he had not grown bored of, one of which was his old friend the still. The aforementioned friend was bubbling quietly to itself, which drew Hawkeye to it to sample its contents. As per usual, there were no clean glasses however; this had never stopped him before. Once the last few sacred drops of pure alcohol had deposited themselves into the makeshift glass, Hawk lifted the clinical measuring vile that had been stolen from supply as Trapper had broken its predecessor in a drunken bout of nastiness to his lips. The burning liquid slipped down his dry throat with ease and the sudden headiness Hawkeye experienced was welcomed, as it was something to distract him from his thoughts of Chrissie.  
  
It had been 12 hours since they had all rolled back into the compound, 12 hours since they left Seoul, 12 hours since he last saw Chrissie. He felt like a schoolboy with an all-encasing crush, Hawkeye was beginning feel the ache of loneliness. Falling back on to his cot, Hawk covered his eyes with his hands to visualise her face, the vision that swam to the surface was crystal clear. Just the thought of Chrissie made Hawkeye sick with longing as he rubbed his eyes with the balls of his fingers to deter the tears that had begun to form behind his eyes.  
  
Breathing out deeply, Hawk sat up and surveyed his surroundings. The Swamp, in all its untidiness, remained around him.  
  
'Mail call Hawk' Radar trilled as he struggled through the door with a large package.  
  
Hawkeye stared blearily at the corporal not really taking in what he had just said.  
  
'Oh, thanks Radar' He mumbled as the camp clerk placed the box on the end of Hawks cot.  
  
'It's uh' Radar started, not knowing how to continue 'its for Captain Hallwell, her fathers possessions'  
  
Hawk surveyed the large box; the War office had officially sealed it.  
  
'Uh, you need to sign for it Hawk' Radar spoke quietly as he indicated the MP's standing to attention outside the Swamp.  
  
As the clerk handed the clipboard down to Hawkeye, he could hear a rumbling of a jeeps engine. Hawkeye scribbled a signature in his copperplate hand and looked to the compound to find the approaching jeep. Hawks face lifted in excitement as he saw the figure of Chrissie jump from the vehicle. He didn't have to think twice as Hawkeye raised himself to his feet and skidded from the Swamp. The compound was wet and muddy from the winter rain but even that didn't stop Hawkeye from reaching his target; Chrissie.  
  
Hawkeye skidded to a halt a few feet from Captain Hallwell, simply looking at her. He could see she looked deflated; tired from the 24 hrs she had spent looked in interrogation. Her green eyes had lost some of their sparkle but this made Hawkeye want to hold her even more.  
  
'Hey you' Hawkeye smiled as he pulled Chrissie into a tight embrace.  
  
'Hey you' Chrissie replied as she gave herself over to Hawkeye's strength and letting him relieve the worries and tension of her day from hell. She placed her head onto his shoulder as Hawk ran his fingers through her hair.  
  
Another jeep crawled up behind the stationary vehicle; it carried a representative from the Judge Advocates Office, three armed MP's and Major Burns.  
  
'Morning Frank' Hawkeye called across the compound as the sleep-deprived Major was pulled from the jeep by the MP's.  
  
'I don't have to take that from you' Frank spat as Hawkeye smiled graciously.  
  
'Now what's all this who-ha?' Henry Blake was striding through the compound. 'I was having my afternoon nap'  
  
An MP turned to Henry and gave a snap salute before addressing the CO.  
  
'Colonel Blake' MP announced which made Henry spin around looking for his addressor  
  
'Uh here, which means, uh, I'm here, that's me' Henry stuttered  
  
'I am hereby returning this prisoner, one Major Franklin. M Burns, to your care' the judge advocate's representative addressed Henry.  
  
'What if we refuse delivery?' Hawkeye joked behind Henry's back.  
  
'Uh, pipe down Pierce' Henry started and turned back to the JA rep 'Thank you, I assume there are conditions to Major Burn's return'  
  
'Didn't we agree Henry' Pierce started 'it makes the war less profitable if we accept returns'  
  
The CO decided to ignore this last comment as he gestured the way to his office. The group that followed him entered his office as the MP's pushed Frank down into a chair; he was still handcuffed. Henry took up his place behind the desk as he gathered his thoughts.  
  
The Judge Advocate representative, Major Falkner, rose to his feet and turned to address Henry.  
  
'I will begin if I may Colonel?' Falkner asked the CO who nodded in return.  
  
'On the charges of cruelty against a fellow officer, the accused was found guilty. However, on the charge of fascism, the accused party was found to be not guilty. The judge found this to simply be the army way' Falkner meant to go on but was interrupted.  
  
'The army way?!' Hawkeye screamed 'the only reason why it has all come to this was due to Captain Hallwell doing her job' Trapper tried to silence him but he carried on regardless.  
  
'Just because Frank Burns has poll in the war department doesn't mean he can exploit her in the way he has' Hawkeye was fuming; he looked set to lash out at Frank and tear him to shreds.  
  
'Captain Pierce!' Major Falkner boomed 'I will not ask you to contain yourself again, you made your opinions clear at the hearing'. Falkner continued after a fixed, heavy stare at Pierce.  
  
'During his absence, the accused private medical records were assessed and certain medical errors were uncovered. It was also discovered that this incident is not the first time reports have been taken out concerning the accused juniors'.  
  
Through Major Faulkner's explanation of Frank's errors, Christmas sat completely still; staring at Hawkeye's hand, which had become intertwined with hers. She couldn't believe that all of this had gone so far. Her father had always told her that the mark of a good leader was to empathize and sympathize with your men. She had done what she was told, the mark of a good soldier.  
  
'Do you have anything to add Captain Hallwell?' Falkner addressed her in a fatherly manner.  
  
Chrissie's eye line levelled out to Major Falkner, taking a deep steadying breath as she stood.  
  
'Sir, what has occurred over the time in which I have been assigned to this post, Major Burns was justified and within his right to do what he did' Chrissie projected. This made Hawkeye sat up almost outraged at what Chrissie was saying; he knew it wasn't true.  
  
Her voice was strong as she addressed the assembled party, she would not allow her voice and the tears forming behind her eyes to betray her. Chrissie went on.  
  
'It states in the Officers manual that if an officer of higher rank has justifiable evidence to discipline a fellow officer for a punishable offence, the officer in question should strive to ensure that a suitable discipline is instilled' Chrissie maintained her tone as one of authority 'However, I do not believe that the act I committed had to be justified with a punishment'. Chrissie sat back down, feeling almost empowered. Major Falkner took his the floor once more.  
  
'The verdict reached in this case was found to be inconclusive therefore Major Burns has been placed under caution, the accused will be placed under surveillance in and around this camp'.  
  
An MP removed the handcuffs that imprisoned Major Burns as Faulkner prepared to leave.  
  
'It is in my opinion' Faulkner began as he addressed Frank 'if you hadn't been drafted as a doctor, you would have been called up as a pastry chef'  
  
This set Hawkeye and Trapper off into fits of hysterical laughter. Henry returned Faulkner's salute and sent Radar out to bid them farewell.  
  
'Well' Henry muttered into his glass of freshly poured bourbon 'Hallwell, Pierce, McIntyre, I want to talk to Frank privately'  
  
'Whatever you say Henry, its your war' Hawk quipped as he scooped Chrissie up into his arms. Radar was coming back through the door so not to feel left out, Trapper reached down and slipped Radar over his shoulder, much to squealed protests from the corporal, as he walked through the swing doors leading from the CO's office.  
  
'Put me down Trap' Radar protested as Trapper placed the clerk back on the floor.  
  
'I don't know what you were complaining about Radar, for once you were taller then me' Trap joked as Radar blushed and hurried away.  
  
'Ah damn, I gotta do on duty' Trap cursed as he looked at his watch' Ah well, see you in the funny pages'  
  
'Oh well my dear' Hawkeye asked as he opened the door of the Swamp 'the excitement never stops in this mad little world of ours'.  
  
'For once you may just be right' Chrissie joked as Hawkeye pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her gently. 'What's that?' she asked as Chrissie pulled away from him.  
  
'That' Hawk started, putting down his glass 'that came earlier, it's for you, they are your father's military possessions'  
  
'I can go if you want to be alone' Hawk offered.  
  
'No, don't be silly, you are probably the closest thing I have to family right now' Chrissie replied softly.  
  
Christmas knelt in front of Hawkeye's cot as she accepted the pair of scissors he offered and began to cut through the 'official' war office tape.  
  
'You know it's probably nothing special in here' Chrissie started as she removed the top layer of documents; more to herself then to Hawkeye 'The army would have sent everything valuable back to the states, it'll only be official docu..' Chrissie's voice trailed off as she uncovered something more then just army paperwork.  
  
'Oh my lord' Chrissie stammered as she brought out a handful of drawings 'I don't believe it, he actually kept these'  
  
Hawkeye looked on over her shoulder, taking the childish portraits as she handed them to him. They were slightly fainted and in some the paint was flaking off but from the look on Chrissie's face, Hawkeye could see they were something from her childhood.  
  
'I used to send stuff like this to dad all the time when I was younger, I had no idea that he kept them' Chrissie's voice was calm now until she came upon the next object in the box.  
  
She said nothing but the single tear, which rolled down her cheek, spoke volumes to Hawkeye.  
  
'I thought Mum had all of these, I never knew dad had this pair' Chrissie wiped the tear from her face and replied with a small smile to Hawkeye's concerned expression.  
  
'Dad allows said I looked like a prima ballerina with these' Chrissie swallowed back a sob as she turned a battered worn out pair of ballet slippers over and over in her hands.  
  
The rest of the box contained fatigues, various medals and a pair of general's stars. There were two envelopes nestled at the box, both addressed to Chrissie; one in her fathers unmistaken copperplate handwriting and the other in a hand she did not recognise. Chrissie went to open the unfamiliar envelope and emptied the contents onto Hawkeye's cot. The contents of the envelope made Chrissie feel physical sick; it was a pair of dog tags, her father's dog tags.  
  
'Are you alright?' Hawkeye asked softly as Chrissie took several deep breaths. The envelope also contained another piece of paper; it was a copy of her father's death certificate.  
  
Chrissie stood up and turned her back on the items that lay across the floor. She lowered herself down onto Trapper's cot facing the wall and placed her head in her hands. She couldn't explain how she felt; it was all a mixture of sorrow, regret, fear, anger and hate. She hated her father for dying; she knew this was wrong but at that moment, she could feel little else.  
  
Hawkeye was now sitting in front of her, not saying a word; he held out the unopened letter from her father. Chrissie took it from him and with two shaking hands, proceeded to open the envelope. Two pieces of paper lay inside, one was an official document the other as a hand written letter.  
  
'What is it Chrissie?' Hawkeye enquired sympathetically.  
  
'It uh' Chrissie stammered' 'It's a copy of his Last Will and Testament' She unfolded the letter and began to read aloud.  
  
My dearest Chrissie,  
  
If you are reading this, then I am dead. This is the letter that I have dreaded writing for 10 years but it is now something that I must consider.  
  
I know that I was never a large part of your life; nothing would have pleased more then to see you, my darling little princess, grow up into the fine specimen of womanhood that you have become.  
  
I could not have wished for more when you became part of my life and I thank the lord everyday that you still bless this planet with your presence.  
  
When you decided to enter the Army as a doctor, I was amazed at how much you had achieved on your own. I am so very proud of everything that you have achieved in your life for the events in mine could not match a single action of yours.  
  
I still remember the day you announced to your mother and I that you were going to become a principal lead in the Royal Ballet.  
  
The day you graduated from St Georges was one of the happiest days of my life. Remember those words I used to tell you when the training became too much 'when you are close to tears remember, someday, it will all be over'.  
  
My only regret in life is that I will never see have a family of your own; your mother always said that her life would be fulfilled when we became grandparents.  
  
I love you my darling, you will always be that special little girl to me.  
  
My heart always, Daddy. 


	13. Heart, Soul and a Sewing Machine

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter thirteen  
  
The frantic stitching of Klinger's sewing machine rang through the musty air of his tent, finishing the hemline of his new black evening gown; his latest attempt at a section eight discharge. A pot of black sequins lay at his side and as he removed them one by one with the end of his needle, Klinger hummed gently to himself. His wardrobe was already extensive and admired by each every nurse in the outfit.  
  
'You'll never know how much I love you' Klinger sang in characteristically deep voice that betrayed his patterned housecoat and rollers complete with hair net.  
  
As the song reached a crescendo, the last few bars were punctuated with loud cursing as Klinger had managed yet again to prick his finger with the needle.  
  
'What a guy won't do to get out of the army' Klinger mumbled, sucking his fingertip that was seeped blood into his mouth. After Klinger's extraordinary marriage to Laverne over the camp's radio several months ago, he was trying every trick twice and using every excuse under the sun to get home to his wife.  
  
The winter sun punctuated the spilt seams of the corporal's tent and sent brilliant splinters slashing through the damp surrounding gloom. It was unusually warm for December, the recent spate of muggy weather was welcomed by one and all; their summer was finally arrived, only five months late. Summer was a rare creature in Korea, it rarely reared its head; but when the sun finally made an appearance at the camp, all personnel seemed to take on a new level of insanity.  
  
'Hand me that gauze roll will you Hawkeye?' Christmas called across the post-op and she stood over Private Weston, setting his right arm in a plaster cast.  
  
'Well of course' Hawkeye boomed taking on the tone of Dr. Frankenstein 'how about we play a little doctor of our own?'  
  
'Hawkeye!' Chrissie squeaked as Hawkeye grabbed her around her waist 'I have to finish this' she indicated to the motionless and sedated Weston.  
  
'Then maybe....' Hawk started but Chrissie placed a finger across his lips to stop his words. Chrissie's only reply was to smile.  
  
She was teasing him, Hawkeye could always tell. That cheeky smile and those glittering eyes spoke volumes to him, he would have walked a thousand miles on broken glass in the snow for that smile. Hawkeye physically shook himself as cold hard reality hit him as hard as the shell that had just landed in the compound. The vibrations from the blast shook the walls and sent Chrissie knocking over Hawkeye who in turn careered into the cot behind him.  
  
'My god, Hawkeye, are you okay?' Christmas hollered across the room as she picked herself up from the floor.  
  
'Fine, Aww!' he exclaimed, the shriek of pain sent Chrissie running to his side. As Chrissie drew closer, she witnessed the cause of Hawkeye's pain; he had a gash above his right eyebrow that was pumping blood down his temple.  
  
'That's going to need stitches Hawk' Chrissie informed her fellow doctor in her best bedside manner.  
  
Several corpsman had raced to the post-op with Trapper in close pursuit to check on the patients. He was relieved to find only two injuries; a marine who's IV had been ripped out in his fall and Hawkeye's bleeding head. Chrissie took the wounded doctor by the hand and led him away to the 'quarantine' side room. As she pushed open the door, she felt the weight of Hawkeye stop dead behind her. Chrissie turned to see Hawkeye standing stock- still, staring at the doors. A cold sweat had broken over this forehead as his skin become pallid and an uncertain look spread across his face.  
  
'Hawkeye?' Chrissie questioned, an undertone of concern clearly audible.  
  
'I.. I.. I cant' Hawkeye stuttered, his eyes glistering 'not in there' Hawk inhaled deeply as he shook his head.  
  
It was then that it dawned on her; the room they were standing outside was the exact room that Hawkeye had spent three months lying in close to death. The recognition of her lover's fear played across her face as Chrissie took Hawkeye by the arm and led him to the pre-op.  
  
'I'm sorry Hawk' Chrissie cooed as she put her arms around him 'I didn't think'.  
  
Hawk reached up to wipe the tears from his face that had mingled with the blood that had seeped from his temple. Chrissie pushed Hawkeye down gently onto an empty bed as she gathered a medical bag up in her arms.  
  
'This may sting' Chrissie breathed as she applied a cotton swab soaked with iodine to Hawkeye's forehead.  
  
A reign of fiery pain ripped through Hawkeye's face as the solution made contact with his skin. The clinical chemical burnt the exposed wound and made Hawk's vision blur slightly from the heady fumes as Chrissie pressed the swab to his face, Hawk recoiled slightly as he winced. To take his mind away from the stabbing pain that pierced his forehead, Hawkeye cast his mind around for a memory to lead him to distraction. The thought he landed upon was when he had to do the same thing to Chrissie; when she slipped and cut her forehead in the mess tent, it was Hawkeye that had fixed her up.  
  
'I guess this means you're returning a favour' Hawk grinned trying desperately to ignore the deep burning sensation caused by the iodine.  
  
'Hmm?' Chrissie breathed as she removed the swab from his head 'what favour?'  
  
'I did this for you once remember' he reminded her quietly.  
  
Chrissie looked blankly at Hawk for a moment but then raised her hand to her forehead and smiled as she felt the uneven surface of the now faint and pale scar. To relieve the sting left by the chemical on Hawkeye's skin, Chrissie blew cool air gently onto the affected area. As Hawk felt the cool breath on his skin, he reached up to Chrissie's chin and gently pulled her face towards him. Overcome by the moment, Chrissie leaned in towards him as Hawkeye kissed her gently. After a few blissful moments, she pulled away and turned to pick up the gauze to cover Hawkeye's injury.  
  
'You know Hawk' Chrissie started 'you're really to have to stop injuring yourself intentionally to get my attention'. She smiled at her comment as the last of the surgical tape was stuck to Hawks skin to hold the gauze patch in place.  
  
As Hawkeye drew breath to reply, the camp PA system crackled into life.  
  
'ATTENION! ALL PERSONNEL! ICOMING WOUNDED BY AMBULANCE AND CHOPPERS ON BOTH UPPER AND LOWER PADS! ITS GONNA BE A LONG ONE FOLKS, BE SURE TO WEAR YOUR TAP SHOES'  
  
As the echo from the announcement died out, the doors to the pre-op crashed open and several corpsman carrying stretched barged their way in. Chrissie pulled Hawkeye to his feet, he wobbled slightly from the heady rush but supported by Chrissie, they both dashed through the OR to scrub up.  
  
14 hours after that fateful announcement, a weary band of bedraggled souls traipsed from the small khaki building and headed towards the mess tent. The lifeless bodies threw themselves and the old wooden benches and collapsed with heads on their arms praying for coffee. As if their prayers had been answered by a guardian angel, several cups of coffee glided towards them in the arms or Radar. The lifeless form of Trapper shifted slightly so he could remove a cup of luke-warm coffee from the cold steel tray. Radar placed the remaining two cups of coffee on the table in front of Hawk and Chrissie with a slight bump. The noise of ceramic on wood roused Hawkeye from his semi-slumber with a small start that made Radar jump.  
  
'What a shift' Chrissie moaned, her arms muffling the sound.  
  
'Hey good looking' Hawk smiled as he slid over to Chrissie and put his head against hers 'wanna come back to mine?'  
  
Chrissie turned her tired eyes to Hawks and pushed his head away from her.  
  
'Cant' she pronounced 'I want to check back on that severe cerebral damage case' Chrissie rubbed her eyes and sighed deeply.  
  
'He'll be fine, Baker is going to give you half hour updates anyway, he'll be out for a good four hours yet' Hawk reassured Chrissie by placing an arm around her tense shoulders.  
  
The tired form of Trapper had fallen against the table and was sleeping fitfully. Instead of waking him, Hawk left him to sleep as he carefully helped Chrissie out from behind the battered wooden table. The tired pair walked slowly through the compound hand in hand; their combined energies barely registering. They couldn't repair to the Swamp because Frank was there, ever since the hearing Chrissie had done her utmost to avoid the Major. Major Houlihan occupied Chrissie's tent so that too was out of the question. As if to kill time, Hawk led Chrissie to sit on the outcrop of rocks over looking the meadows of war-torn Korea.  
  
'You know' Hawk started as they both sat together on the cold rock 'I don't really know much about you Chrissie, apart from being sexy, gorgeous, talented, able.' Chrissie had a placed to fingers over his lips to quiet him. She felt slightly embarrassed as her cheeks tinged a lighter shade of rose, she wasn't really used to other people reeling off her good traits.  
  
'Well now' Chrissie thought hard about who she really was 'let me see. Well I'm 27, my middle name is Hope..' She was cut off by a sheepish grin from her partner.  
  
'I didn't know you even had a middle name' he smiled, flashing one of his trademark grins.  
  
'Are you even going to let me finish?' Chrissie demanded in mock anger, Hawkeye's only reply was to hold up his hands in apology.  
  
'As I was saying' Chrissie stared at Hawk who smiled back 'I'm an only child, was born in Maine but moved back to England at 6 weeks old, grew up wanting to be a ballerina, didn't become a ballerina, Mum died when I was 12, went to med school instead, joined up, was sent to Korea, Dad was killed in the throws of battle and I hope to die in the Army.' Chrissie stated with a flourish.  
  
'Quite a childhood' Hawk smiled as he kissed her gently on the forehead.  
  
'What about you Hawk' Chrissie breathed into the material of his scrub shirt 'your turn to tell me about your good self'.  
  
Hawk grinned as he rubbed his tired eyes.  
  
'Well' Hawk stifled a yawn before he continued 'I'm not going to reveal my age because a lady never should, am an only child as you were, my Mum died when I was eight and was raised by Dad, only ever wanted to be a doctor, was drafted because I foolishly opened an invitation from Harry Truman to come to this cocktail party, hope to go home to Maine and become the worlds best surgeon'. Hawkeye drew breath at released it slowly.  
  
'Tell me something else Hawk' Chrissie probed.  
  
'Like what, you know my life history now' Hawk joked.  
  
'Something that only you know' Chrissie knew this would be pushing her luck, but she tried anyway. She had a way of getting Hawk to do what she wanted. Hawk sat there in silence casting around for a dark secret, he must have one after all, he WAS Hawkeye Pierce. It finally hit him, the secret he had been longing to reveal to Chrissie ever since he had been ill. He took another deep breath and went on before he changed his mind yet again.  
  
'When I was ill' Hawk had suddenly become serious and the tone of his voice brought her closer to him as she placed a hand gently over his 'I used to dream, sometimes of meaningless images that I couldn't decipher and sometimes they were nightmares I just couldn't wake from' Chrissie turned her face away from his, she could tell this was hard for him. 'But the thing that kept me going then any other, were my thoughts and dreams of you Chrissie'  
  
Hawkeye stopped, allowing what had just said to sink in. Chrissie was speechless, she had no idea that she was the only reason Hawk kept to the surface and didn't sink completely. Chrissie couldn't speak; there were just no words to describe what she had just heard. Her face came level to his as she fixed her gaze to those icy blue eyes.  
  
'Its uh, all true, I never even told Trapper' Hawkeye averted his gaze from Chrissie's and fixed his vision on several large rocks below them. Chrissie didn't reply, tears had formed behind her eyes but she wouldn't let them fall. Instead she took Hawkeye's cheek in her hand and pulled his face gently towards her. She looked at him tenderly; the softness of her touch was echoed in the emotion she portrayed.  
  
'You know Hawk' Chrissie whispered 'I dreamed about you too'. Hawkeye gently moved his hands from his knees to surround her face and allowed his lips meet with Chrissie's. 


	14. The Sum Of All Fears

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter fourteen  
  
'Excuse me ma'am, did I leave my boots under your bed?'  
  
Chrissie whipped round to see Trapper towering over her. He was, as always, wearing a cheeky grin; never seen without one Chrissie thought to herself quietly. She quickly shut her journal and moved over to make space for Trapper on the out-crop on which she sat. His faux southern drawl had vanished when he spoke again.  
  
'Haven't seen much of you these past few days, come to that, I haven't really seen Hawk either' Trapp moaned, Hawk made the better martini's around the Swamp and he had hardly been there to keep Trapper happy. And as Hawkeye was Trapper's main gin supplier, it was very bad for Trapp to be away from him for more then a few hours 'I only seem to see you in surgery, you and Hawk had a fight?'  
  
'Oh no nothing like that' Chrissie laughed  
  
'Then were do you sneak off to with my drinking partner?' Trapp questioned.  
  
'Oh just somewhere' Chrissie smiled, a grin bending the corners of her mouth. Truth be told, several days back, Hawk had found a convenient 'secret' place for them to escape to. He hadn't even told Trapper, this defiantly meant a lot to Hawkeye.  
  
'McIntyre' an intruding voice boomed behind them.  
  
As Trapper swivelled around in answer to his name, his eye caught that of Major Burns. His eyes were deep set from lack of sleep and the right corner of his mouth twitched uncontrollably.  
  
'What is it Frank?' Trapper questioned 'can't you see that I and this lady of the female persuasion are trying to have a conversation?' he indicated Chrissie sitting to his right.  
  
'That' Frank spat as he quickly ran his icy vengeful eyes over Hallwell 'is none of my concern'. Undertones of bitterness racked his voice as his eyes glinted maliciously. 'You are needed in Post-Op' Frank muttered as he took on finally glare at Chrissie and stalked away, hands in his pockets and head held low.  
  
Chrissie's body physically quivered as a sharp intake of breath ran through her lungs. The very vision of that man disgusted and physically repulsed her. Trapper noticed the Goosebumps that plagued Chrissie's skin and as a result, placed his hands onto her arms and began to rub her skin.  
  
'Ignore the moron' Trapper breathed 'he's not worth the vacant space he occupies'.  
  
Trapper pulled Chrissie from the dusty rock as he made a path for post-op. As Chrissie pushed through the door into post-op she nearly fell over a body sitting on the floor. She placed her hands on the doorframe and steadied her gaze on the figure that seemed to be securing an IV tube to the wall. That crop of ebony hair was unmistakable.  
  
'Hawkeye' Chrissie whispered 'what are you doing?'  
  
Hawkeye twisted around with a mischievous glint in his eye and spoke, as he were a child containing an obvious secret.  
  
'Oh nothing, just the remnants of a joke that Chuckles was the unfortunate recipient of' Hawkeye grinned 'then he refused to do his shift'.  
  
'That must be why you're here Trapp' Chrissie figured 'to cover the shift for needle nose'.  
  
'Anything serious Hawk?' Trapper questioned as they all pushed through a set of khaki doors.  
  
'Nothing really' Hawk sighed, almost relishing a challenge 'Weston's cast needs to be checked and Private Thompson has been running a fever from yesterday's appendectomy'.  
  
'What's his current temp?' Chrissie questioned as she examined Thompson's chart.  
  
'Uh, 102.4' Hawk voiced as he careful checked the patient for any other signs of post-operative stress.  
  
Chrissie pursed her lips and nodded slowly, this case puzzled her; his elevated temperature was an indication of an abscess but he showed no other signs that would lead her to believe otherwise.  
  
'He's still showing some tenderness even after a full course of penicillin' Hawk pondered, he too was perplexed by this case. 'Just keep a spare eye on him Trapp'.  
  
McIntyre nodded as he thoughtful walked to the attending desk in the corner to retrieve more blood work notes.  
  
'So Hawk' Chrissie began in a questioning tone 'what exactly did you do to Frank?'  
  
Hawkeye's booming filled the room as he grinned, the childish glint still in his eyes. 'I really didn't have to do anything, ferret face brought it on himself via his own stupidity'.  
  
The weather had taken a definite turn for the worse; the recent pleasant weather was defiantly the lull before the storm. Darkness seemed to fall earlier each day as sheets of freezing rain soaked the compound continually. Radar and other corpsmen were kept bust digging trenches around the tents to reduce the risk of flooding. Two of the broken generators had been repaired but the constant rain and atrocious weather had reduced the camp back down to one weak generator. Once darkness had fallen, it was inadvisable to do anything but stay in your quarters. Hawkeye believed this to be the best news he had heard for the entire war. This however put Chrissie in a difficult position; she still had a 12-hour shift to finish with Hawkeye following her around the camp, beckoning for her to come to bed. She finally shook him off by finding a poker game for him to join.  
  
As casualty rates had fallen after the heavy tide of wounded that had filled the last few days and night, supplies had to be checked; this privilege fell to Chrissie.  
  
'Oh joy of joys' Chrissie breathed to herself as a heavy deluge of water soaked through her boots on opening the supply tent door.  
  
The howling December gale ripped through what remained of the supply tent, the already harsh weather conditions had torn the roofing canvas. The bitter chill of the pouring rain caused Chrissie to outwardly shiver as she ran a pale finger down a shelf of supplies; her fingernails blue tinged from the freezing storm. As sudden clap of thunder caused Chrissie to bound upwards, causing her to hit the back of her head on an iron case of penicillin. Cursing under her breath, Chrissie raised a shaking hand to inspect the wound. Bringing her hand away revealed a streak of ruby red blood across her fingers. Behind her, the wooden door creaked loudly and continued to bang against the force of the wind. Chrissie had the unmistakable feeling she was being watched; an eerie shiver passing up her spine. Shaking it off, Chrissie continued to count loose cardiac needles.  
  
Suddenly, Chrissie was aware of a presence behind her but the following events ensued too quickly for her to respond. A cloth was forced around her mouth and nose that smelled strongly of ether. Her vision swam as Chrissie fought the strong embrace holding her still but her attempts were made redundant as the floor came up to meet her.  
  
  
  
The pounding in her head had awoken Chrissie; the loud drumming caused her whole body to shake. As her vision returned, she began to recognise her surroundings; Chrissie was in the supply room. As the rest of the ether left her system, Chrissie began to realise the oddity of her surroundings and her venerable position. Friction burned at her wrists and ankles, this meant she was tied down with strong cord; no matter how much she struggled Chrissie could not free herself.  
  
'So, you're awake' a callous, bitter voice carried across the room. That voice was distinctive; Chrissie froze as recognition flooded her face. It was Frank.  
  
Chrissie tried to scream for help but she had been bound and gagged using a surgical gown. Major Burns raised himself to his feet from his dark corner and flicked his lit cigarette at Chrissie's prone figure, which hit her on the cheek. The fire red burning tip of the cigarette burned her skin with a punishment of hell fire. She wanted to scream but the gown bound tightly around her mouth proved impregnable.  
  
'There's no-one here to help you now' Burns drawled as his figure approached her, Chrissie still squirming against her bonds.  
  
Chrissie's eyes bored into his, searching for an answer to his motive, but, as if he could read her mind, he started to explain.  
  
'Since that first dark day that you dared to arrive, you have managed to make my life a rushing torment' Frank's eyes burnt with malevolence, no hint of remorse showed through on his pale face. 'You are a poorly trained medic who should never been allowed into medical school, you have disgraced this fine profession and I fear you will go on to do the same if I do not stop you once and for all'.  
  
Chrissie's mind was racing at Frank's words, what would he do to her? Her breathing increased but a spark had lit an idea in her head; never taking her eyes from Major Burns. Chrissie rub her jaw across her shoulder to loosen her gag but Frank had noticed.  
  
'Oh no my dear' Frank purred smoothly 'I really don't think you want to do that'. Frank pulled a small side arm from his pocket and took expert aim at Chrissie's head.  
  
'One word' Frank spat 'one word you little bitch and I'll finish it here and now'  
  
Chrissie lay still, although she had never been in this situation before, she was surprisingly calm. If the army had taught her one thing it was that eye contract and negotiation were the most important weapons an officer could carry. She nodded forcefully as Frank sipped the gag down to her throat.  
  
'Now' Frank began 'I see we understand each other'. The bitter expression twisting his face melted into a perverse smile. 'Look at you now, the soon to be late great Captain Hallwell, you were a disgrace to your family; in body and in memory'. To vent a fraction of his anger, Frank hit Christmas around the face with his gun.  
  
Chrissie's was thrown sideways with the force of the impact; it had not been hard but had taken her by surprise. She steadied her breathing and fixed her gaze once again onto Major Burns.  
  
'There now' Frank breathed in mock care as he put his free hand to Chrissie's cheek and scooped away some of the blood left from his attack. Grinning maliciously, Burns raised his hand to his mouth and licked the blood from his fingers. Chrissie could taste the unmistakable metallic remnants of blood in her mouth, which she spat to the ground beside her.  
  
'And now' Frank smiled wickedly 'To do my duty'.  
  
Frank placed the sidearm down on a box of gauze to his right and took up his place; standing directly over Chrissie.  
  
'Why me?' Chrissie mumbled, she knew this properly get her killed but what were a few minutes if she was to die anyway 'why not one of the other poor unfortunate nurses that you put on report for being a better doctor then you will ever be'.  
  
As if in reply, Frank lifted his right foot and proceeded to bring it down heavily onto Chrissie's stomach. As his foot struck, Chrissie heard the distinct sound of several of her ribs cracking. She took a sudden sharp intake of breath that burned through her lungs.  
  
'I told you, you sultry bitch' He spat in her face 'not a word'  
  
Chrissie watched in silence as Major Burns began to unbutton his trousers. Hallwell swallowed deeply, now know what Major burns was to do; he was going to rape her. Frank took a scalpel and began to cut away her clothes, he writhing seemed to entertain Frank; his bellowing laughs echoed around the metal hut. She was now faced with a decision, if she screamed for help Frank would almost certainly kill her; there was no guarantee anyone would hear her.  
  
Frank had proceeded to slash away Chrissie's clothes but cutting her legs in the process. A deep red spillage of blood leaked onto the floor around her, seeping across the cold stone floor. The bindings securing her ankles were cut as Frank dropped the scalpel to the floor and removed his underwear.  
  
'Now we'll see who's in charge' Frank droned as he began to lower himself down onto Chrissie's prone form.  
  
With all the strength she could muster, Chrissie raised her legs into the air and kicked Frank away from her. Not expecting this, Frank stumbled backwards into a stack of empty crates. Somehow Hallwell managed to find her feet and run for the door, her legs still bleeding and her hands still bound. She couldn't see the gun but she didn't care where it was; her only concern was to escape.  
  
Chrissie raised her bound hands above her head and proceeded to bang on the sheet metal door. A sudden burst of strength hit her and the door slammed open. As Chrissie steadied herself, she suddenly felt a white hot pain through her left shoulder; Burns had thrown the scalpel and it had landed square and true into Chrissie's shoulder blade.  
  
'HELP!' Chrissie screamed, despair racking her voice 'SOMEONE PLEASE!'  
  
Her pleading screams rang across the compound and fell upon the ears of the MP's. One MP blew a whistle to signal danger as Trapper and Hawkeye came running.  
  
'What's all the commotion?' Trapper questioned.  
  
'Yeah' Hawkeye interrupted 'I was on a perfectly good winning streak'  
  
Chrissie's voice came again, more woeful and pleading. Hawkeye recognised the voice in seconds. He dropped his cards and ran towards the voice.  
  
'Chrissie!' Hawk stopped dead his tracks as he saw the still figure of Hallwell lying in the doorway of the supply room.  
  
The MP's rushed to his side before they noticed Frank standing completely naked holding his side arm up, its sights set directly at them. A single shot was fired at the MP's but Frank had missed as it ricochet off the wall.  
  
'My God' Hawk chocked as he fell to his knees and removed the surgical instrument from her shoulder.  
  
By now the MP's had disarmed the naked Frank Burns and had forced him to the ground. Hawk took Chrissie into his arms and rocked her gently as she sobbed uncontrollably.  
  
'What did he do to you' Hawkeye's voice quivered with pent-up emotion.  
  
'He tried to rape me' Chrissie coughed, sobbing out each word with raw emotion 'he he tr..ied to ra...rape me'. 


	15. A Whiter Shade Of Pale

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!  
  
But you're a girl - chapter fifteen A Whiter Shade Of Pale  
  
After those fatful evenings events, the whole camp seemed to be in absolute shock. The very thought of another human executing that kind of behaviour was sickening; the fact that it occurred metres from were they slept was simply unthinkable. It seemed almost impossible for the mass of khaki drenched beings to sleep again therefore the mess tent was swamped by service men and women all after one thing; a bad cup of coffee. The camp buzzed with a shocked yet excited tone; everyone seemed to have a theory as to why Major Burns did what he had just done but voices hushed when Hawkeye and Trapper managed to carry Christmas to Post-Op to have her injuries treated.  
  
Chrissie's head swam with vision's of co-worker standing over her as the bitter tears slipped down her blood streaked face. Hawkeye babbled as he collected various clinical materials he needed but did not once look at Chrissie; he didn't know how or why this had happened but he was racked by a strange guilt. It was almost as if he held himself responsible for what had taken place that night. As Hawk readied himself, Trapper sat beside Chrissie on the treatment table with both his arms around her as they both sat in a stunned silence. Blood still streaked from the wound to her right shoulder as it soaked through the khaki cotton of her shirt. Trapper pressed a piece of cotton gauze to the seeping wound as Chrissie winced and took a sharp of intake of breath through her teeth. The cold air burned around her broken ribs as she wheezed loudly.  
  
'Chrissie?' Hawkeye rushed to her side as Trapp stopped her from falling forwards from the table 'you okay?'  
  
Hawk thought this was a stupid question, of course she wasn't okay, she had just been violently attacked by one of her co-workers. To quash his fears; Chrissie nodded weakly. The pain she felt in her chest raged on as she continued to breath heavily and tried not to think the worst; that she may have damaged one or both of her lungs. The world swam around here, colours merged as the blood rushed through her ears and the bile rose through her chest. This, like so many other things she had experienced in Korea, was unbelievable.  
  
Hawkeye did his best to cut away the remains of her blood soaked trousers without allowing the cold steel of the scissors to touch the abrasions to her legs. She drew away slightly when Hawk came to pull the remains of the material away from her frame.  
  
'I'm sorry' Hawk whispered as Chrissie allowed him to pull the blood soaked material away from her.  
  
'They look quite deep Hawk' Trapper commented while inspecting the wounds 'they're gonna need stitches'  
  
Hawk soaked a dish of cotton swabs in iodine and alcohol as Trapper helped Chrissie sit up straight on the treatment table. She caught sight of the bowl containing the cotton and visibly flinched.  
  
'You might want to grit your teeth' Hawk offered 'this is going to hurt'  
  
As if to fulfil his promise, when the swab touched her skin the burning pain ripped through leg as the tears formed in her eye but she swallowed them away.  
  
Chrissie increased the tightening death grip she seemed to have on Trapper's hand as her knuckles visibly paled. She was deeply confused and utterly scared, it just didn't make sense why it had happened to her.  
  
'I trust 4.0 silk will suffice for madam' Hawkeye joked trying to inject some stereotypical humour to the diabolical situation; unfortunately it wasn't working.  
  
Chrissie threw her head back; determined not to watch Hawkeye work. He was an excellent doctor and she was in the best possible hands but she still had an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to be touched. Hawkeye worked for an hour, sewing back together the woman he had started to love. He had fought back his tears of anger and frustration but he didn't know how much longer that would last.  
  
Henry Blake had spent the last half hour storming in and out of post-op to check on Chrissie's progress; he seemed more confused every time he went back and returned more perplexed then before. The camp seemed to be over- run with MP's that looked suspiciously at everyone that passed. As Hawkeye pulled the last stitch through Chrissie's shin, he let out a satisfied yet disappointed sigh and trimmed the excess suture silk from the needle.  
  
Chrissie bent down to inspect Hawkeye's work and allowed herself a small smile. He had done a good job; an excellent job under the circumstances.  
  
'Well Sir' Chrissie addressed Hawk 'I am shocked and affronted at the job you have done' she smiled again as Hawkeye wrapped his arms around her stable shoulders.  
  
Henry had appeared casting a shadow over the threshold of Post-Op. His face conveyed a look of sorrow and anger but still regret and painful regret; it was almost as if he in some way blamed himself for Major Burn's actions.  
  
'Who needs a drink' Henry asked quietly; more of a statement then a question, even though a measure of pure alcohol was wholly inappropriate at that moment in time; he meant well.  
  
'I'm okay Henry, really' Chrissie pronounced through a deep breath as she offered him a weak smile.  
  
Henry assured the assemble party of three that Major Burns was now in the firm custody of the MP's. With this he strode from the room so he could instruct Radar to wire the Military Police in Seoul, but knowing Radar, he probably had already done it.  
  
An hour had passed, but to Chrissie, it seemed almost a lifetime. She dreaded stepping outside the door but she knew she must. She stopped right before the doors and took a long, steadying breath. Beyond that thin barrier of wood and metal lay the reality of what she had just experienced and that; that was a scary thought.  
  
Chrissie lay one hand upon the door and breathed deeply again, she couldn't run and there was nowhere to hide. With one exertion of force, the door creaked open as Chrissie peered through the crack between the wooden sheets. An empty Military Police van lay empty and dominant ahead of her but it was clear why it was here.  
  
'You okay' Hawkeye asked as he placed an arm around her shoulders.  
  
Chrissie jumped, she had forgotten that Hawk and Trapper where there; her silent shadows. She nodded; strongly this time as she steered herself round to the CO's office.  
  
Major Frank Burns MD sat under heavy guard in the corner of the CO's office; the CO however, sat at his desk with a bottle of rye in one hand and an empty glass in the other. Strangely enough for Henry, the two never seemed to meet. He was disgusted with his surgeon, so much so he found it hard to find strong enough words to describe his feelings for the situation.  
  
The door to the office rattled as Hawkeye pushed his way through; shielding Chrissie from view. She weaved around Hawk's arm and kept her vision fixed on Major Burns. Chrissie pulled away from his grasp, ignoring the chair she was offered as she rounded on her senior officer. Hallwell had launched into a venom-induced dialogue before any member of the assembled could stop here.  
  
'I just want to say something' Chrissie's eyes were still trained on Burns 'it seems that you failed in your so-called 'duty', you're a failure Burns, an utter joke'  
  
'I always knew that filthy attitude would get you into hot water one day' Frank spat into the air between them.  
  
'I have an attitude? When every word from your mouth is dripping with disdain' she uttered into the silence. Frank made a grab for Chrissie's arm but was pulled up by the MP's from his chair and pushed against the wall. Chrissie smiled as she delivered her witty retort 'Oh by the way Frank your village called; they want their idiot back'.  
  
Hawk smiled in awe at Hallwell, what she was doing took an amazing amount of courage and resolve; things he was quickly realising she seemed to have infinite stocks of.  
  
'Take him' Henry mumbled not looking up from his empty glass.  
  
As the MP's pulled Burns from the corner and out the office; they were stopped by a sudden voice.  
  
'Wait' Chrissie shouted through the silence. The assembled party all directed their attention to the young captain; her own gaze still fixed on her attacker. 'Major Burns; may the angels weep for your soul' Hallwell's gaze flicked to the door as Frank Burns MD was yanked from office. Her footsteps echoed theirs as she watched Burns being pushed into the back of the van; the straps of a straight jacket being tightened around his feeble body. 


	16. Solitary Solitaire

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys. Please R+R!

Hawkeye's Seductress: Hey hun! Am soooo sorry for torture upon your weak state of mind and that this will make up for what I have done to you!

Sweet Preserves: Hope you are enjoying the story so far; Frank is a bad egg huh??? Do we think he will get what is coming to him?

Mirandabelle: Thanks so much for the encouragement! Finally, as promised about a year ago; here is your next fix of Chrissie and Hawkeye.

But You're A Girl - Chapter 16: Solitary Solitaire 

"Hawkeye? Hawk?" nobody was home as Chrissie quickly discovered. 

Sighing to herself, she pulled open the Swamp's weather beaten door. It creaked loudly in the morning air, how long was it since Radar agreed to oil the hinges? After pouring a rather large measure of raw sprits into a vaguely clean martini glass, Chrissie sat herself down on Trappers cot.

Glancing around, he gaze fell upon an unfinished game of solitaire. Trapper, bless him; he may be a wonderful surgeon and terrific doctor but when it can to solo card games he seemed to lose a little of his charm, and his temper. Shaking her head with a sigh Chrissie lowered herself from the bunk and sat crossed-legged in front of the half played-out cards.

The lingering burn of gin tinged her throat as Chrissie picked up the remaining draw cards. Rolling the bitterness of the olive around her mouth she removed a three-card draw from the deck and surveyed the top card. The eight of spades was not a card that was particularly useful at that point. 

Taking another draught, she knew another three cards, success! Chrissie had uncovered the last ace in the pack and placed it above the other cards with the previous suited sets. 

"Excuse me Miss!" In all the time that Chrissie had known Trap, his faux British accent had not improved much if at all "but I do believe that that is my game!"

Swaggering forward, Trapper ruffled her hair as he sat in his chair. Said chair had only just been repaired after being broken for 3 weeks. Hawkeye thought it would more then amusing to slowly remove ½ inch lengths from each of the chair legs in turn. It was only when Trapper, in a highly intoxicated state, fell forward out of the chair and cracked his head on a corner of a table upon which the still sat. Three stitches later and only when a point had been conceded in default to Trapper had the madness stopped. 

"Oi! Watch it you, there will be no touching of the hair" Chrissie waved a mocking finger at her drinking companion.

Taking faux offence to the beasting, Trapper wiped his eyes and slunk into the corner conveniently dragging a booted foot over the current card configuration. 

"Ha!" He cried, sticking out his tongue.

In response Chrissie stuck her nose in the air and crossing her arms over her chest she gave a loud 'hmpf!' In unison both party's turned to one another and both laughed.

"No bother Trap" Chrissie grinned, "your hand was terrible anyway!" 

Making the cards into a pile in front of her, she proceeded to re-shuffle the deck. Patience card games were something the Army had given her time to perfect despite Trappers frequent accusations that she cheats!

Running a finger across the creases in the backs of the cards, Chrissie found herself recounting the previous days events in her mind. She didn't even hear Trapper speaking, everything around her seemed to slow to a crawl, colours and shapes blurred around her. The only thing that anchored to a reality was the deck pressing into the creases of her fingers. 

Feeling warm hands on her shoulders jolted her from the unpleasant reverie in which she has caught. Instinct told her to stiffen and shy away from the grasp but the sound of another familiar voice halted any movement.

"Chrissie?" Hawkeye had taken the deck of cards from her cold grasp and replaced with his own hands. 

She blinked slowly as if trying to process what seemed to be an alien situation. Her hands trembled slightly in Hawkeye's grasp as a shiver whipped down her spine.

"Chrissie?" Hawk repeated, gently caressing her cold skin.

Christmas looked up at him with a surprised expression as if she had only just realised that he was there. Inadvertently pulling her hands from his, Chrissie backed away into Trapper and jumped. After the goosebumps had subsided, Chrissie realised where she was and that the arms holding her did not belong to Major. F. M. Burns. 

"I….I….erm….." Chrissie stuttered, shivering again as if she were enveloped by a shadow. Reaching towards her right shoulder, Chrissie ran her fingers across the wound site made by Frank Burn's scalpel. 

Hawkeye was at a lose for what to do or say, looking to Trapper for a prompt. Following his bunk mates lead Trapper slowly bent down and placed both arms around her and pulled Chrissie into what he hoped would be interpreted as a friendly yet reassuring hug.

"I'm..I'm sorry, I don't know what just happened" Chrissie stammered, raising a hand to wipe away the tears that had slipped down her cheeks.

"It's okay, its okay Chrissie" Trap mumbled into her ear, pushing stray lengths of hair from her eyes.

"All because you ruined the cards" Chrissie joked, a sad smile bending her features but her eyes still told a story of misery and fear. 

Trapper grinned, knowing that he should try to lighten the tension; he pushed himself to his feet, placing thumbs into imaginary braces and puffing out his chest in the manner of a cartoon mayor.

"No if you'll excuse me, Klinger and I have a date this evening" Trapper puffed on an imaginary pipe while he gesticulated his plan.

"I thought I was your date for this evening" Chrissie cleared her throat and grinned up at Trap.

"I'm a married man honey, I only go out with women that don't know that" Before Trap could stop him, Hawkeye had thrown the pack of playing cards at his bunkmate, scattering them everywhere.

"Hey!" Trapper retrieving the card stuck in a shirt button and continuing "the ace of hearts, what are the chances!" With this pronouncement Trapper turned, saluted the still and promptly frog-marched from the tent. 

Hawk and Chrissie sat in silence long after the door had banged shut. She felt as if something was lodged in her throat, she was lost in thought. The tears that had threatened to fall overwhelmed her senses as they spilt over her cheeks.

"Oh Chrissie" Hawk sighed as he pulled her into tight embrace; running his fingers through her hair as she sobbed.


End file.
